Oliver and the Brilliance of the Nuptial Edict
by Ava Miranda Dakedavra
Summary: Oliver, a regular Quidditch star, has his work cut out for him when he's forced to get married to Hermione Granger. "It's not like you have to get married or anything," Fred grinned. "Except - " "Oh wait - " "That is what you have to do."
1. This is How It All Started

_**First chapter is dedicated to **__**DominoTyler**__** for being the first to give me an idea for this Marriage Law fic. To a '**__**milly**__**,' I shall attempt what you requested on a later date. (As a oneshot, because I don't know what to do for them.)**_

* * *

><p>"Catch, save, dive, whooo!"<p>

Oliver Wood grinned and rolled his eyes, shaking his head at a Chaser on his team, who was doing loop-de-loops giddily, enjoying the opportunity to poke fun at Oliver.

"And Oliver Wood saves the day once again! The crowd goes _wild_!" Wentz Harper cheered, still doing his crazy circles, "Ol-iv-er, Ol-iv-er! Whooo!" His brown hair was meant to lay down on his forehead, covering his eyes when he was immobile – which was rare – but flying back to look like wings on his head when he was moving about. He was one of the closest things to a best friend Oliver had had in quite a while, feeling as if he were the older sibling to most of his friends, especially Fred and George.

"Nice shootin', Tex," another Chaser winked at him as she flew down to the ground, looking up at the two boys – who were the only ones who wanted to stay after the practice was officially over – in amusement. She'd pulled her long black haired back in a braid, smoothing the straggling bangs back away from her sweating forehead.

"Thanks, Marissa," Oliver said as he followed her lead and landed, leaving Wentz to continue spinning, only stopping when he realized he was getting sick.

"Ugh, my stomach."

Oliver and Marissa laughed at the two before a silver lynx stopped right before Oliver, making the three stop and inspect it curiously before Kingsley Shacklebolt's deep rumble sprouted out.

"_Get yourself to the Order. Emergency meeting_," it said before turning in a circle and vanishing.

"Bloody hell," Oliver cursed, looking over how gross he was from practice in the hot, hot sun.

"Go," Marissa said with a wave of her wand, cleaning Oliver up immediately.

"Thanks," he nodded before Apparating away as two owls flew down to Wentz and Marissa, leaving them looking at each other curiously.

* * *

><p>Oliver appeared on the doorstep, wobbling a little but opening the door and stepping inside anyway. The house was full of people, shouts and yells and questions filling the house up. Somebody had painted over Mrs. Black's mouth, leaving her silent and brooding as her precious house was tainted by those of lesser blood status making it's way through her items.<p>

Fred and George jumped up on the kitchen table, Molly wincing behind them but letting them continue anyway.

"Calm down, everybody, calm down!" Fred ordered, waving his arms over his head as Harry picked Hermione and Ginny and put them up on the table as well, following them soon enough.

"No need to worry, none at all," George assured, but was glancing at Fred worriedly anyway.

"Yes, no need to worry!" a dreamy voice announced, making quite a few people look up to see that Luna was sitting on a limb of the chandelier, swinging her legs around daintily, "There can't be much worse than what we've all been through!"

"She's go' a poin'," Seamus mumbled next to Oliver as Arthur Weasley strode into the room, shooing his children off the table. He shakily got on, using Fred and George as a railing to get up there. He looked tired, older than the last time Oliver had seen him, and was holding a rolled up piece of parchment.

He unrolled the parchment and cleared his throat, everybody hushing up to listen, "_By Order of the Ministry, the Nuptial Edict has been passed to remove incest from pureblood families and spread more magic to the Wizarding Community. Those who refuse to accept the terms and conditions of the Edict shall be sentenced to a month in Azkaban and a year without their magic. The terms and conditions are, as follows; the couple must be a pureblood and a Muggleborn/half-blood/Squib. The couple must be married within six months of formally being placed together. A child must be brought after a year of marriage. No divorce can be filed unless abuse of any kind is reported. __All marriages are otherwise life-long__._ Kingsley wants to add '_this was not my idea, do not kill me, I had no choice about it._'" Arthur looked sadly up at them before reaching into his back pocket and producing a large wad of envelopes, "I have all of yours here. You can read them out loud, to yourself, or go home and have the privacy. The choice is yours." He tore off the rubber band from the envelopes and passed them out, slowly and by hand instead of using his wand.

Oliver stared at the envelope in his hand, his name written out in cursive curly handwriting that looked to be rather feminine. He took a deep breath and flipped it over, staring at the opening of the envelope. He heard cracks and pops as people left, either from going to find their intended (which the screams of delight preceded), going home to weep (as the wails of dismay signaled) or going home to read it alone and find out what to do.

"_Yes!_" George hissed happily, fist pumping the air, "Got Alicia Spinnet!"

"Sweet!" Fred echoed, "Angelina Johnson!" They high-fived before catapulting themselves onto the couch, grinning madly.

Harry sucked in a breath as Luna blinked high above them.

"Oh dear," she said, looking as serious as she'd ever been, "Why this is…."

"Harry has to marry Luna," Ron whispered. Ginny finally tore open the paper, clutching at it in her hands before pressing it to her chest, as if to make the words go away.

"Dean Thomas," she whispered before heading outside to be alone.

Oliver looked down at the envelope again before looking around him. He, Luna, Harry and Hermione was the only non-Weasleys left, as everybody else had left.

"Monica Wilkins," Ron murmured before arching an eyebrow, "Anybody know a 'Monica Wilkins?'"

"She's a muggle-born," Arthur answered softly.

"Go on, Hermione," Harry said soothingly as Hermione clutched at her envelope, staring at it as tears rolled down her face. "We're here for you."

"Except if it's Charlie," Fred whispered, "Then we're leaving you on your own."

Hermione took a deep breath, ripping open the envelope with her thumb as she squeezed her eyes shut, yanking the paper out and handing it to Harry, "I can't. You do it for me."

Oliver watched as Harry read the paper, his eyes widening a little as he stared at the words. Oliver took a deep breath, noticing that Harry wasn't going to be moving for a few more moments, so he ripped open his own envelope and stared at the name.

Harry looked up, staring at Oliver as the Quidditch player's eyebrows rose in surprise. The Weasleys then turned to Oliver, surprise showing on their faces as well. Hermione was still keeping her eyes closed, looking as if she never wanted to know.

"Oliver's getting married to Hermione," Luna said, reading from up above him, interrupting the silence and making Hermione open her eyes.

Hermione and Oliver stared at each other – or, really, they were staring at places behind each other's heads. For example, Hermione was admiring a very lovely piece of china just above Wood's left ear, and Oliver was looking over her head and watching as Ginny attempted to kill one of her older brothers out the window.

"Merlin, you two are quiet," George huffed, rolling his eyes.

"It's not like you have to get married or anything – " Fred grinned.

"Except – "

"Oh wait – "

"That is what you have to do."

Hermione turned to the twins on the couch, focusing her glare on them, "Oh, _do_ shut up."

* * *

><p><strong>The Beginning! …My head hurts.<strong>


	2. This is Where We Try To Fix It

**Monica was based off of my friend, Kevin. (Who is actually a girl. We just call her Kevin. Occasionally 'Lady Kevin.')**

* * *

><p>"HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Harry bellowed, pounding on the wood, his face slowly becoming purple, "I KNOW YOU'VE GOT YOUR MUSIC ON – THE WHOLE HOUSE CAN HEAR IT. IF YOU DON'T OPEN UP RIGHT NOW AND GET THOSE BLASTED HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR HEAD, I AM GONNA – GONNA – GONNA BURN ALL OF YOUR BOOKS WITH FIENDFYRE! YOU'LL NEVER GET ANY OF THEM BACK!"<p>

Hermione opened the door dully, her headphones wrapped around her neck, "Why, hello Harry. I believe there's somebody screaming in the house. Please take care of it for me?"

He huffed, glaring at her as she glared right back, "Look, we're all having another meeting in the backyard. Everyone we know from Hogwarts."

"Great," she sighed, stepping out and shutting the door behind her, going down the staircase in the Burrow, "Now I can explain to everybody what I found out."

Harry brightened and grinned sheepishly at her, "You know I was just frustrated, Hermione."

"I know," she said, patting his shoulder as they stepped out into the backyard. There seemed to be a little makeshift stage, chairs laid out for those who they wanted to include. Dean was dully tapping his fingers against Luna's shoe, which was convenient as she was sitting upside down, the hem of her shirt tucked into her long, bohemian-style tie-dye skirt. Seamus was holding the bridge of his nose with his head tilted back, looking as if his Hangover Potion was finally kicking in. Fred and George were talking animatedly with Alicia and Angelina, exclaiming phrases such as "You like ponies? _I_ like ponies!" to make those around them glance and grin a little at them. Ginny and Oliver were chatting, making such gestures to describe only Quidditch movements.

"Shh!" Fred hissed suddenly, sitting on the edge of his seat as Hermione and Harry walked into the middle of the semi-circle. "Hermione's found a way to fix everything!" Everybody was suddenly quiet and turned to look at Hermione as Harry conjured a chair to sit down in.

"Err," Hermione fidgeted before sighing, looking dejectedly at them, "I checked everything, everywhere, every law and every clause. They tried to pass it in the 1500s, and it worked, but it got tramped on when Helena Rosengald gave everybody a love potion to make them fall in love with somebody else. Lots of fighting, lots of trouble. Imagine William Shakespeare's _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, but with a lot more hair-pulling and wand waving. Anyway – " she waved her hand dismissively, shaking her head, " – my point is; I can't find out a way to flip it over onto our side."

"Can't we just use a love potion again and cause chaos?" George asked.

"We love causing chaos," Fred said.

"We'll do it!" they offered together, the grins already forming.

"If you do that, you'll get off much worse than Helena," Hermione sighed, "Fifty-five years in Azkaban and no magic for seventy-three years."

"That's not too bad," Fred said after a slight moment's pause.

"That's what Helena got," she winced, "_You'd_ be getting the Kiss."

"Seriously?" Dean jumped up, blinking and making Seamus wince a little. "That's what we get if we mess with some stupid law – "

"Edict," everybody except Hermione corrected, who knew that 'law' meant 'edict.'

" – some stupid law that nobody even _wants_?"

"Hi guys!" Ron said brightly, his arm wrapped around a petite woman's waist.

"Ugh, Ron!" Ginny shouted, glaring at her brother, "Don't show up and prove Dean wrong!"

"Err – I'm…sorry?" he blinked, the woman staring wide-eyed at the group who was glaring murderously in their direction.

"Please excuse them – the Edict is driving us all nuts," Hermione sighed, smiling softly at her, "You must be Monica."

"Yes," she sighed, smiling back. She had dirty blonde hair, thin wire framed glasses magnifying her blue eyes a little. She came up to Ron's shoulder, as was shown by their closeness. "Hi. Nice to meet you."

As Hermione opened her mouth to introduce them, Harry standing up from his seat to offer it to her, there came two people marching out of the house, brushing soot off their clothes.

"Alright, where's my son?" the woman questioned, looking out at the group of people as Oliver slid slowly down his seat.

"There he is, Martha," the man said, smiling at his son, who shot him a quick glare before he stood up and approached her.

"Mum!" he grinned, hugging her and wincing when she didn't hug him back, "Err – what's up?"

"What's up?" she asked quietly, "What's _up_? I learn that you are being forced to get married – something I haven't been able to get you to do for seven years – and you ask me 'what's up'?"

Oliver winced to his father, "You could've warned me, Da."

"Could've," he said, scratching his neck before grinning at him, "But it'd be much more fun this way. 'nd _where's_ your voice? England taking the Scott out o' ye?"

Oliver straightened, "_No._"

"We would've barely noticed it if you'd visited more," Martha said, frowning at him, "Now where is she?"

"Where's who, Mum?"

"Your wife," she shrugged simply, making Hermione and Oliver blush as Harry silently offered his seat to Monica, who quickly sat down and stared at the exchange, fitting in with everybody else nicely.

"Mum, really, not now," he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Ooh – is she here?" she asked excitedly, her brown eyes lighting up, twisting to look around him as Hermione turned to shoot a panicked glance at Harry, "I want to meet her."

"Right over here, Missus Wood!" Fred and George grinned, pointing to a scarlet Hermione as Oliver winced and glared at the twins.

"Ah my stars, it's so nice to meet you," she said, stepping around her son and clasping her hand, "I'm Martha, and my husband is Luke."

"Hermione Granger," Hermione said shakily, quickly shaking the woman's hand before folding her hands behind her back, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

"Martha, I think they're tryin' tah stop the Edict," Luke said, stepping up to his wife's shoulders, "Now isn' tha time."

"I told ya that," Oliver grumbled, folding his arms.

"Oh, of course – but either way, I'd love to have you over to dinner sometime, Hermione," Martha smiled as Luke began to drag her away.

"Umm," Hermione shared a glance with Harry, the two wincing a little as they left, walking out to the Apparation point and popping away.

"Well," Ron said, clearing his throat, "Hope it goes over that well with Hermione's parents."

"I don't," Hermione muttered, "Or else I'll wonder why my mum switched places with my aunt Janine."

"Hey – we could come with you," Harry said, motioning to himself and Luna, "'Cause a distraction and run for it."

"Are we burning their house down?" Luna asked, sitting up and walking over to them, smiling pleasantly at the group.

"No," Hermione, Harry and Oliver answered.

"Oh good," she said, still smiling, "The food might get burned that way."

Hermione snorted, "If Mum's cooking, it'll be burned anyway." At Oliver's questioning look, she shrugged, "I inherited that trait. Dad always cooks. _Always_."

"You know, that little trait of yours would've been marvelous to know _before_ the Horcrux hunt," Ron said.

Hermione snorted and turned to him, "Fine. Next time, you can fix a dinner of only fish, mushrooms and weird berries that your friend found and thought that they 'looked pretty' but turned out to be hallucinogens."

Harry chuckled, "That was hilarious."

"I _thought_ that the chicken was there for our pot o' gold," Ron murmured to Monica.

"I find tha' offensive," Seamus said, still with his head tilted back.

"You should," Ron grinned, "I thought the chicken was you."

"Of course ye did. And, just so ye know, I still think yer an arse."

"I love you too, Shay," Ron grinned as Seamus flipped him off.

* * *

><p><strong>…Explanation? Err, yeah, I don't have one either.<strong>


	3. This is Where We Meet Her Parents

**I am so cold and have to pee. But you didn't need to know that last one.**

* * *

><p>"Harry!" Irene said happily, spreading her arms out and hugging him tightly, having him grin as he hugged her back. "Oh, it's been too long! Been staying out of trouble?" she asked as she pulled back.<p>

"Umm," he smiled slightly before grinning, "You look pretty today."

She laughed at him as he moved out into the living room, shaking hands with Jack, Hermione's dad. Luna stood before her and bowed, hugging the woman loosely before dancing off to Harry.

"I like her," she smiled at her daughter before grinning at Oliver, "Hello, you must be Oliver. I'm Irene, and Jack's in the living room." She shook his hand, making Oliver notice how similar Hermione and her mother were. She'd gotten the brown eyes from her father and the curliness of their hair, but the rest was all Irene.

"Can I shoot him?" Jack called from the living room, making Harry, Hermione and Irene laugh as Oliver and Luna shared confused looks.

"No, you can't shoot him!" Irene said as Hermione shut the door behind Oliver, pulling him further into the room. "I'd hate to have to clean up the mess."

"We've got magic, we can clean that up fast," Harry snorted, "Nobody will ever know."

"I am so confused," Oliver mumbled to Luna, who nodded.

"Pardon me," she spoke up, "But what are we talking about?"

"Killing Oliver," Hermione smiled slightly before turning at something bumping at her leg, smiling down at their old golden retriever, Matches. Normally, he would've jumped up and placed his front paws on her shoulders and licked her face, but he was having hip problems and couldn't do that to his favorite kid. "Hey, Mattie," Hermione said, kneeling down and rubbing her face into his hair, smiling.

"He's so pretty," Luna said, kneeling down as well and presenting her hand to Matches, who sniffed it before allowing her to pet him.

"We've had him since we've had Hermione," Jack smiled, "Part of the family."

"Umm, we would've brought something for dinner _but_ – " Harry grinned sheepishly, "Me and Ron got hungry and didn't realize why Mrs. Weasley had handed us the thing, so…."

"And Irene will explain to you why we're having pizza for dinner," Jack said as he stood, looking pointedly at his wife.

"Mum, you didn't," Hermione groaned.

"I thought I'd give it a shot," she shrugged, completely unembarrassed by her blunder.

"Mum, no offense, but you've given it plenty of shots and have missed every single time," Hermione smiled before hugging her mother, squeezing her tightly, "Ooh – I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Honey," she smiled before frowning, "Call more. I mean, okay, I get that you can't call your wizard friends, but _come on_ – our number hasn't changed at all, you memorized it when you were seven, but just because you think you're twenty doesn't mean you aged at all, you know."

"You struck the match that lit that bomb, Kiddo," Jack grinned as Hermione sighed and looked at her father desperately.

"Bomb?" Oliver and Luna exchanged quietly.

"Sort of like Fiendfyre for Muggles," Harry muttered to them.

"Oh."

* * *

><p>"Okay, so wait a second," Jack said, pinching the bridge of his nose and leaning forward, "The Quaffle is like a football?"<p>

"What?" Oliver blinked, "What's a football?"

"Oh, Kid, you're missing out," Jack said, "It's this black and white ball that you kick around with your feet – you're not allowed to touch it with your hands, and you have to make it into the other person's net. It's harder because there's a goalie – "

"Like what you do," Harry offered. "But it is kind of like a football, except up in the air."

"Ugh, so bored," Hermione groaned quietly as she hung off the arms of her favorite chair.

"I still can't believe you won't go on a broom, Hermione," Irene chuckled as Luna played in the floor with Matches, who was licking her face, "You used to love rollercoasters."

"What?" Harry and Oliver cried out as Hermione shrunk into her chair.

"You said you were terrified of heights!" Harry frowned.

"Her? Hermione? Oh no, she loves being high up in the air," Jack snorted, "We never went on any of the safe rides at the fair."

"How do you even know what a rollercoaster is, Oliver?" Hermione frowned.

"I have my reasons," he huffed. Truthfully, he'd been dragged on one by Charlie Weasley when they'd met in the summer at the Muggle village around their childhood homes. He'd said that it was like being up in a broom, except not really, and there was no Slytherins to smack around.

"So what is it?" Luna asked softly, "Why won't you go up on a broom?"

"Because it hates me," she said as they blinked at her, aside from Luna who found this answer satisfactory.

"What?" Oliver blinked.

"Remember in our first year Harry?" Hermione flipped over onto her stomach, looking awkward in the chair, "You might've been too busy getting on the Quidditch team, but my broom _hated_ me."

"That's silly," Oliver snorted, "How can a broom hate somebody?"

"I don't know," she glared, "How does a wand choose a wizard?"

"She's got you there," Luna smiled, fluffing up Matches' hair.

"Hermione, you've got to go on a broom – hey, why not mine?" Harry asked, "Firebolt's are better than what the school had. Maybe it won't hate your guts." He and Oliver had to barely hold back their laughs, but instead grinned at her.

"Don't make fun of me," she grumbled, getting up and sitting next to her father on the couch. "If it wasn't for me, you would've failed Hogwarts."

"Oh please," Oliver rolled his eyes, "If it weren't for you, he woulda been dead."

"Pardon?" Irene blinked as she and Jack turned to their daughter.

"What, you didn't tell 'em?" he blinked at her.

"No," she rolled her eyes, "They never would've let me go back."

"Tell us what, Hermione?" Jack asked, frowning at her.

"Well – it's nothing really, it happened so long ago, it's nothing!" she said nervously as Irene appeared on her other side.

"Hermione Jean Granger, you tell us this instant," Irene ordered.

Hermione groaned and dropped her head into her hands, "In our first year Harry, Ron and I nearly got killed by a three headed dog, some vines, a giant chess board, a slew of flying keys, and Lord Voldemort tied on to the back of our Defense Against the Dark Art's professor's head. In second year, I got petrified by a basilisk and Harry killed it. In third year, we nearly got killed by Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, a werewolf, and some dementors, and Harry and I went back in time to save a hippogriff. In fourth year, Harry almost got killed by dragons, merpeople, Voldemort, and the Yule Ball. In fifth year, we almost got killed by a bunch of Death Eaters. Sixth year, and Harry almost got killed by Snape after being so paranoid about Malfoy. And then our supposed seventh year, and you don't even want to know." She said all of this in a rush, leaving Jack, Irene and Oliver's heads spinning.

"Oh, may I?" Luna asked softly, "She, Harry and Ron went on the Horcrux Hunt, and Ron left, leaving her and Harry to almost get killed by Voldemort, then they got captured by Snatchers, she got tortured at Malfoy Manor and we all escaped to Shell Cottage. Then they broke into Gringott's, got another Horcrux out of Bellatrix Lestrange's vault, escaped from there on a blind albino dragon, killed a majority of the Horcruxes, found the diadem, got attacked by an army of Death Eaters, Harry was supposed to have died by Voldemort, but lived and killed him, and me, Hermione, Ron, Oliver and Neville all kicked some butt – pardon my French." She smiled dazedly as Hermione glared at her.

"Thanks, Luna," she said drily, "Now my parents will never let me back into the Wizarding World."

"Hermione," Irene stood up, frowning down at her daughter, "A word in the kitchen?"

"Honestly, Missus Granger, it was my fault, she's been friends with me since first year – if she hadn't have been, I would've just – " Irene cut Harry off with a sharp frown as Hermione stood up and shuffled towards the kitchen.

"So," Irene said once the folding door shut, "Why didn't you ever tell us all of this?"

"Like I said," she shrugged, staring down at her shoes, "You wouldn't have let me go back."

She sighed and tipped her daughter's chin up to look at her face, "Sweetie, your father and I know how much it meant to you. If you'd fought hard enough – and we know you would've – we would've let you go back, just with more letters and more assurances that you'd be safe."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Now," she said after she'd gotten her to smile a little, "What's this about a Nuptial Edict that Harry let slip during dinner?"

"Ahh," Hermione winced, "Well – you see – "

"Let me guess – you have to marry Oliver and Harry has to marry Luna for some stupid reason?"

"You're smart, Mummy," she grinned as she hugged her, "Think you can help us out?"

"How?" she blinked.

"You went to law school – they can't take away our freedom like this," she huffed, glaring at the Ministry mentally. In her head, there was a slew of Umbridge and Filch look-a-likes standing there with open, gaping mouths, their eyes glazed over as Kingsley hid underneath his desk, waving the white flag to show that he was not at fault.

"Sorry Honey," she shrugged, "If you haven't figured it out, I doubt I could. And besides – what's wrong with Oliver?"

"What?" she blinked, a faint blush starting to creep up her cheeks.

"Oh come on – he's nice, he's smart, he's funny – and such a catch too!"

"Mum!" Hermione groaned, the blush getting darker as Irene laughed.

"And Luna seems like such a sweetheart – Harry will surely be happy with her," she grinned before glancing over at the door. Hermione turned and saw shadows underneath the door.

She sighed and rolled her eyes before grinning, "Oh, I don't know, I was hoping to get Harry. I mean after all we've been through – and have you _seen_ his hair?"

There was a startled, strangled sound and the sound of Harry tumbling backwards. Hermione and Irene opened the door to see Harry and Luna tangled together, the latter giggling softly. Jack and Oliver were staring up at the ceiling nervously, nodding and complimenting it.

"That's what you get for eavesdropping, Harry," Hermione laughed as she pulled Harry to his feet. He grinned sheepishly at her before helping Luna up.

"But like I said – there's nothing I can do to help you," Irene shrugged, "Just suck it up and deal with it."

"Aha – no," Jack frowned, "My baby girl is _not_ getting married yet."

"Jack, if she doesn't do it, she'll go to that creepy wizarding jail she talked about."

"Don't care – err, wait, is that the one with the demeanors?"

"Dementors, and yes."

Jack was silent for a few moments before hissing out, "Shh, I'm thinking."

* * *

><p><strong>So, umm…mmyeah.<strong>


	4. This is Where Luna is Inappropriate

**I love the TV show _Friends._ If you ever find something from there that you recognize – well…yeah. Anyway – **

* * *

><p>Harry was frowning down at the chessboard, Ron on the other side. Hermione was pacing the living room, a book in her hand as Luna hummed and twirled around her. Monica was sitting in a nearby chair, watching them interact and feeling awkward.<p>

Harry suddenly yelped out a "HA," jumping up from his crouching position in front of the coffee table, accidentally turning over the chess board and sending all the little knights and pawns flying, screaming as they fell to their dooms. "I win, you suck, mini-wave in celebration of _me_!" he screamed happily before doing something that resembled The Worm, only upright. Ron watched in amusement as Hermione snorted at him, Monica giggling before Luna started to do it with him.

"This is quite fun," Luna said before turning to Monica, "Would you like to join us?"

"I feel the calories melting off," Harry said, still doing his weird dance move as Ron rolled his eyes and walked away to get a butterbeer.

"Sure," Monica giggled, getting up and standing next to Luna before she copied her and Harry. Ron came back and watched them before setting his drink down and getting in the line, dancing with his new fiancé. Hermione watched, silently wishing she had a video camera.

Oliver walked in, still in his Quidditch stuff. He opened his mouth to talk to Hermione, but stopped and turned back to watch the weird group, where everyone was trying to suppress giggles at his wary face. "Okay," he said before turning back to Hermione, "Can you get dressed up in ten minutes?"

Monica gasped, still dancing, "Nobody can get dressed up in ten minutes! Nobody, I say!"

"Aye!" Harry and Ron agreed.

"I don't know," Luna said thoughtfully, "It _is_ Hermione."

"Why do I have to get dressed up?" she asked, setting her book down.

"Everybody on the Quidditch team is having them meet the – umm – 'forced', I guess. At least, that's what Jack called them. The captain. Err – I can wait or go or whatever."

Hermione groaned and buried her face in her hands, stretching out her eyes before letting it snap back, "Okay. Ten minutes. I think I can."

"Run!" Ron called out as she dashed up the stairs.

"Ooh, Hermione, I can help if you want!" Monica called.

"Sure, thanks Monica!" Hermione called, leaving Harry, Ron and Luna to still do their strange dance as Monica dashed up the stairs, eager to help someone in a chance to make friends with her fiancé's family. Whether she knew Hermione and Ron were related or not was the question.

"So, your second family is meeting Hermione?" Harry asked, stepping out of the dance and leaving Luna and Ron to dance together. "How do you think that'll go?"

"Terrible, but what can you expect?" Oliver shrugged.

"Wait, I'm confused," Ron paused in his dance, "Your second family is your Quidditch team?"

"Ron, that's not as weird as a band of gingers being a second family," Harry snorted.

"You got somethin' against gingers?" Ron glared mockingly at his friend.

"And if I do?" Harry glared right back at him.

"I think I'm going to twirl in here for a bit," Luna said, stepping in between Harry and Ron and spinning around, arms up over her head like a ballerina.

"Time?" Monica called as she and Hermione raced down the stairs.

"Err – " Ron checked his wrist, "I dunno. I forgot I wasn't wearing a watch."

Hermione gasped as Monica tugged and whirled her around, dabbing at her face with a tissue. She'd hurriedly dressed in a pale yellow sundress with a few slight ruffles on the skirt, trying to slip on brown gladiator sandals and be completely still at the same time. Monica deemed her ready and she slid over to the chair, sitting on the arm to tie her shoes on. She blew a few curls out of her face as Monica twisted and twirled her wand in intricate patterns, having her hair fold up and pin up onto the back of her head.

"Wow," Ron commented as he, Harry and Oliver gaped, "That was fast."

"I used to work on a costume crew for a play," Monica grinned, gripping her wand, "If you were slow, you were fired."

"Thank you so much, Monica," Hermione grinned before wincing, "Err – how will I be able to get this out?"

Monica stared at her blankly, "Err. You know what? We'll figure that out when the time comes. Now go!"

* * *

><p>"Oliver!" Wentz threw himself at his teammate, "You're alive!"<p>

"Yes, I am," Oliver frowned at him as Hermione tried to hide behind him. "Now stop actin' like you've got a screw loose and introduce yourself."

"Aha – to _whom_, my dear Ollie?" Wentz asked, smirking.

"Hermione, quit hidin' behind me," Oliver said, turning around and showing her to them. She winced and shot a glare at him.

"No fair!" Wentz cried out, "She's bloody gorgeous! I'm stuck with Marissa!"

"Marissa?" Oliver chuckled, "But you'd kill each other."

"Yeah – that's what I said," he snorted, "Mum's excited though."

"I think all mums are."

"Oy, Oliver!" Marissa said as she strode to them, hands on her hips, "Please tell me, for the love of Merlin, that your little girly has a brain. Everybody else has a collective IQ of three."

"Err – I'm pretty sure Hermione Granger has an IQ much higher than three," Wentz smirked at her as Marissa blinked at the shyly waving girl.

"Oh – hi," Marissa winced and grinned sheepishly, "I didn't see you."

"Thank you," Hermione grinned, "That was what I was going for."

"Umm," she shifted, "I…really don't know what to say to you."

"OLIVER!" several voices crowed, a few jumping up and tackling him to the ground, having him kick and yell at them as they hoisted him up on their shoulders with difficulty and towed him away.

Hermione watched them go as Marissa and Wentz laughed.

"It's a surprise," Marissa explained as they began to lead her to where they'd taken him, "Oliver's getting bumped up to co-captain and – "

"McDaniels is retiring, this is his last year, so next year he'll be captain," Wentz finished, "We all figured he deserved it."

"And he's just now finding out?" Hermione grinned a little.

"Yup! That's actually the real reason why we're having this little 'shin-dig' – not that you're not lovely and very nice and that we didn't want to meet you or anything," Wentz backtracked with wide eyes, "It's just – and everything and we – "

"What he's trying to say is he just put his foot in his mouth," Marissa grinned, smoothing down her light green dress.

"Oh yeah, Miss IQ-Higher-Than-Three-Please?" he huffed as he glared at her. She glared back at him.

"YOU KNEW!" Oliver flew at Wentz, tackling his friend into the ground as he beamed, "You bloody knew!"

Wentz was laughing as he pushed his face away from the ground, "We all bloody knew – why are you tackling me?"

"You're weaker," Marissa grinned, "Ollie, I'm leading your girly to her doom!"

"Okay," Oliver said absentmindedly, wincing and glancing back to see Hermione grinning and rolling her eyes at him. "Err – wait, Marissa, make sure the others don't – "

"Oh no, nobody should have to go through that," Marissa hissed.

"Actually," Wentz laid his arms on the ground and put his chin on it, humming as Hermione looked at a loss, "Maybe she could get them to stop."

"Well, we're not going to find out," Oliver said as he stood, yanking his friend up by the back of the neck.

"Why do I have to go?" he asked with a glare.

"Because your conscience won't let you _not_ go," Oliver said, "And, in this case, I am your conscience."

"Otherwise it wouldn't have existed," Marissa grinned.

"You know _what_?" he whirled at her, pointing practically up her nose.

"What?" she asked calmly.

He stammered for a bit before dropping his hand and glaring at her, only to stomp off. Marissa grinned as Oliver groaned and dropped his face into his hands.

* * *

><p>"Ginny," Hermione muffled into her pillow as she felt her bed being bounced upon, "Go away."<p>

"No!" Ginny whispered gleefully, diving under the covers, "I have fantastic news!"

"Mmwha?" Hermione asked sleepily.

"Dean and I are actually getting married. For real. Not because of a law or anything."

Hermione picked her head up and looked at her friend. Ginny was beaming, hugging the other pillow to her. Hermione smiled, "That's great, Ginny."

"And I want _you_ to be my maid of honor," Ginny smiled at her as Hermione finally began to grin herself.

"Thank you so much, Ginny!" she said in hushed excitement. Hermione blinked and turned as she felt somebody else crawling into her bed, smiling once she realized that it was Luna.

"I suddenly felt very alone," Luna said calmly, "So I thought I'd crawl into one of your beds. But Ginny was gone, so I came here. And I found her. Yay."

"Yay," Hermione chuckled back, smoothing down Luna's hair as she curled up next to her, twirling her curls around on a finger.

"So – now that I'm totally over this awkward business – how's our dear ol' Ollie?" Ginny teased as Hermione threw her a quick glare.

"She wouldn't really know," Luna admitted for her, "He's been gone for three weeks."

"Still haven't found a loophole yet?" Ginny asked, worrying slightly for her friends.

"Oh yeah," she hummed, "Sleep. Which you're intruding upon, by the way."

"So – what? Once you're married you're just going to doze off?" Ginny snorted, "Sounds foolproof."

"I know. Isn't it brilliant?" Hermione sighed and hugged her pillow again, humming against the warmth.

"Except for that part where you have to have a kid," Ginny muttered, grinning as Hermione's form stiffened, "That might be harder to figure out."

"I don't even know if I _want_ kids," Hermione whispered harshly, finding herself wide awake now at the prospect of actually getting pregnant.

"It doesn't matter if you want them anymore," Ginny sighed as Luna debated on dozing off. "You've got to have them."

"What if you can't?" Luna asked, frowning up at the ceiling, "Like, what if the uterus and the sperm don't work together?"

"What?" Hermione asked with a smile.

"I saw it on a Muggle American television show," she said, "Her uterus was an 'inhospitable environment' and his – "

"Luna, please stop," Hermione winced, "I really don't want to hear this."

"What? Is it ovaries or sperm that's making you uncomfortable?" she turned her head and squinted at her, "Or is it the idea of _your_ ovaries and _Oliver's_ sperm that's making you uncomfortable?"

Ginny snorted as Hermione gaped at her before the redhead stifled her giggles into the pillow.

* * *

><p>"Oliver!" Charlie grinned, Oliver blinking at the cut on his forehead, but he easily waved it off. "What brings you here?"<p>

"Uhh – lookin' for Hermione, she up yet?"

"No, but you can go wake her up, she's either the third or fifth door on the right, unless somebody moved the ghoul out, in that case she's in the attic," Charlie hummed before grinning again, "Glad to see you got your accent back!"

"Huh? Oh, I hadn't noticed," he grinned back before ascending the stairs.

"Yeah right – bet you probably did it for Hermione," he teased before Oliver glared at him and stepped out of sight.

Oliver tried the third room on the right, finding an empty bed. He travelled to the fifth, opening it up and finding Ginny and Luna piled into Hermione's bed with her. He smiled and leaned against the doorway as Luna sat up and stared at him blankly, Ginny and Hermione rubbing their eyes and frowning at being woken up.

"Sperm?" Luna questioned, making Ginny's eyes widen before she laughed and promptly fell onto the floor. Hermione groaned and pulled the pillow over her face, exclaiming that it was far too early in the morning to get up. Oliver shook his head and helped Ginny up, Luna sliding down from the other side and walking out with her.

"Hermione?" he asked, making her pick the pillow up and frown at him. He pulled the piece of paper from his pocket and held it out for her to read.

She sat up on her elbows and took it, frowning at it as he sat on the edge of her bed and watched her. She gaped at it before gaping at him.

"We've got _three months_ until we're _forced_ to get married?" she questioned, sitting up on her knees and reading again, "I don't understand – I thought we had six months?"

"That's how long it will take to get everyone married – we have to get married before it's up," he frowned with her, lying down with his arm behind his head, closing his eyes.

"That's absolute _rubbish!_"

"Actually, if you think about it, it's kind of the smartest thing they've done in this whole ordeal," he hummed, "If the wedding date is assigned, not so many people will hold it off until the last minute."

She pouted at him, not finding a way to argue with that, "What's up with your voice?"

He grinned, peeking an eye open at her, "This happens. Back and forth. My accent changes."

"How often does it happen?"

"As often as I stay in different countries. Actually, not as often as you might think."

She huffed, still pouting at him, "Alright then."

* * *

><p><strong>So much stuff has gone on since I last updated this. Sorry!<strong>


	5. This is Where Hermione Yells at a Court

**Hey guys. Heh…it's been a while, hmm? Like, I dunno – a few months?**

**I'm really really sorry.**

**_Really._**

* * *

><p>Hermione huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the opposing force. She'd gone to the Ministry to complain to Kingsley, hoping that he'd be able to do something about the Edict. But he'd shaken his head and said that he didn't even want to put it into place, but everyone else on the Wizengamot had voted against him. She then asked to speak to them, and Kingsley had told her that it probably wasn't the best idea, but she hadn't refused. He'd sighed and set up the meeting for the next day.<p>

After she went to the Burrow and proudly told the others of her plan, they'd shaken their heads and tried to talk her out of it. But Hermione was stubborn and Oliver had shrugged and said he'd go with her the next day.

However, Oliver was expecting to speak up for the thirteen-year-old mental version of Hermione. He'd completely forgotten that this girl could be extremely influential, powerful, and especially intimidating when he'd offered to go. Still, there were quite a lot on the Wizengamot. And all of them seemed to be glaring back at her.

"Miss Granger," a high pitched trill started, making her shift her glare solely on Dolores Umbridge, "Why are you here?"

"To stop this law from going into complete effect," she stated.

"No," she said simply before banging her gavel, "Next!"

Hermione stiffened up and her glare seemed to intensify, "No, not next! I am going to talk, and you – you slimy ol' _toad_ – are going to listen, just like the rest of you!" She placed her hands on her hips as the Wizengamot scoffed and said "well, I _never_!" "This is certainly not your choice to make, who somebody should marry and when. There are boundaries and lines and borders and none of them are for _you_ to decide."

"You are stepping out of line – " Umbridge began.

"That's in your case, in my case I am perfectly well in line," she quipped back, "Millions of little girls spend their days daydreaming on who they'll fall in love with and what their wedding will be like. They would never think of an arranged marriage."

"Little girls must grow up," Umbridge frowned as Oliver decided he was very lucky to not have this foul woman teaching him.

"That's your opinion, not mine," Hermione said, "After the War, I believe the best thing for anyone is a state of innocence, and little girls _and_ boys can have that. We are all people, we are all living, breathing, feeling, thinking things, we can make our own decisions!"

"Many decide upon incest! Are you going to vouch for that?"

Oliver watched as Hermione rolled her eyes, "No, and it'd be understandable if it was made illegal, just like in every part of the world, but it would be insane to try to match someone to somebody else!"

"How would it be insane?" a nameless person asked, curiously and without attitude.

"You can't decide what traits people like, you can't decide what physical attributes people like, you can't decide the level of intelligence people like – you can't decide what sexual preferences people are!" she snorted as a few of them recoiled in shock and horror, "Oh please, there are plenty of homosexuals in the Wizarding World, suck it up and deal with it." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "All I'm saying is we choose who we love. You certainly can't pick for us."

Oliver felt that if any time were appropriate, it would be this time to stand and applaud, if not for the angry look in Umbridge's eyes.

"The – Edict – shall – _stay!_" she announced, getting a wild look in her eyes, "And nothing you or anybody else says will change that decision!"

Oliver stood when he saw that Hermione's shoulders tensed and her fists clenched and he guessed that her lips were pursed, as he stepped up and grabbed her and hoisted her up over his shoulder, shocking her enough to slip out of the courtroom without her saying a word. When he set her down just outside of the doors, she frowned and blinked when he indicated for a minute. He stepped back inside and frowned up at them, "For your protection only." And with that, he walked back out and slammed the door.

For a few moments Hermione didn't say anything, just ran her fingers through her hair until she seemed to have calmed down enough to form coherent sentences. By this time, though, they were already walking down the sidewalks of Muggle London.

"Thank you," she managed, "I just…_hate_ that woman and I _hate_ this law."

"Looks like we're on the same page," he smirked back, making her bark a laugh.

* * *

><p><strong>I know it isn't much, considering my long absence from this story and everything. Sorry again, and I'll try to get back to updating this.<strong>


	6. This is the Family Reunion

"So, just to ease my ego – you're not opposing this law because you're stuck with me, are you?" Oliver asked dully as he sat out on a bench in the sunshine with his fiancé – and it was weird to consider her as that, as he barely knew anything about her.

Hermione winced and shook her head, "No, of course not, I'm just upset that nobody had an opinion in the matter of _our_ lives." She sighed and rubbed her face, "I really don't know what to do, though."

Oliver wrapped his arm around her shoulders and brought her into his side, patting her shoulder as she pouted a little and leaned into him, "We'll get through it. Don't worry."

"Aww, young love," a passing elderly couple cooed, making Hermione and Oliver both blush and scoot as far away from each other as the bench would allow.

Oliver sheepishly grinned and cleared his throat, "Might have to get used to that."

Hermione chuckled back, still with the blush on her face.

* * *

><p>Hermione frowned out at the sea of her relatives. Her father had mentioned that Hermione had come to dinner, and her Aunt Janine had seen this as an opportunity to have an impromptu family reunion. And then Hermione's Aunt Ruth saw this as an opportunity to show off her daughter Cecilia, and how she was the prettiest thing and had all the boys chasing after her. As this was normal at family reunions, Hermione didn't think much of it until Ruth had patted her on the shoulder and said "Don't worry, Sweetie, your time will come."<p>

Hermione's mother noticed how much her sister was making fun of her daughter, and Janine was pursing her lips and frowning as well. Irene finally sighed and grabbed the phone off of its hook, tapping in numbers and holding it to her head. Janine looked curiously at her as she grinned happily back at her once she had hung up.

"Who did you call?" she asked warily.

She gave a smirk and flitted off, "You'll see."

Nearly half an hour later, the doorbell rang and Irene sprang from her seat on the couch next to her daughter and dashed for the door as everyone else mentally counted themselves and tried to figure out who was missing.

"Oh, Oliver, thank you for coming!" she said, making Hermione and her father gape at each other.

"Well, I do need to attempt to get on the good side of this family," he said, his accent thick this time and causing Irene blink before smiling, making Hermione silently groan and shove the heels of her palms into her eyes.

"Oh Hermione!" Irene sang, leading him into the living room, which was full of those who were related to the Grangers, "Your fiancé's here!"

"Fiancé?" Ruth and Janine echoed and turned to look curiously at Hermione before Janine brightened and bounced her way over to her.

"You're getting married?" she asked in a high-pitched voice, her excitement evident.

"Uhm…yeah," she said sheepishly before she gave a squeal and plopped down next to her, hugging her tightly.

"Oh, Hermione, I'm so happy for you! Oh, Darling, why ever didn't you tell me?"

"Because she didn't want to be squeezed by the boa constrictor," Irene teased, very smug at the look on Ruth's face.

Janine stuck her tongue out at her sister before releasing her niece and standing, offering her hand to Oliver, "Hullo, I'm Hermione's aunt Janine."

"Oliver Wood, nice to meet you," he smiled back.

"Please, the pleasure's ours!" she chirped before dragging Hermione into a standing position and squeezing her shoulders, "Didn't know Hermione was seeing someone, let alone engaged! This certainly brightens up things, as all we've been hearing is Ruth's accomplishments – or, rather, her daughter's accomplishments."

"Really, thank you for showing up," Cecilia told him as she stooped to peck Hermione's cheek, not noticing the glare she was giving Oliver. "Congratulations, Hermione."

"Thanks," Hermione managed to say civilly to her cousin before frowning at Oliver, who only grinned back. "Did my mother call you?"

"She called Harry, who delivered the message to me," he grinned wider.

"Remind me to thank the both of them," she stated, sarcasm dripping off of her words.

"Will do," he smirked before Ruth stepped up to them.

"Hermione," she said with a fake smile plastered on her face, "I'm so happy for you! Oh, tell me, when's the big date?"

"Two and a half months from now," she recited, as she and Oliver both had been keeping track of the date.

"That's hardly any time!" Janine crowed, her mouth making a large 'O' shape, "That's – you can't just – "

"Well, we didn't really want to make a big deal out of it," Oliver saved her with a charming grin and easy shrug. "It's probably just going to be our parents and a few friends." He glanced back at her and arched an eyebrow at her, giving a small smile when she huffed and pouted at him.

"Of course, it's a big deal!" Janine said, aghast, "It's your wedding day! The most magical day in your _life!_"

Hermione's mother choked on her drink and tried to hide her smile as her father hid his behind his clasped hands. Hermione and Oliver exchanged glances and tried not to grin widely at one another.

"Janine, Darling, how would you know when you've never been married?" Ruth quipped, hands on her hips as Janine glared at her sister and pursed her lips into a very thin line.

"Oh, _do_ shut it, Ruthie, we won't let you spoil this," Irene glared at her sister, "But Janine, they have already stated that they didn't want anything special."

"Oh, tish-tosh, we can make it just a smidgen special, can't we?" she said, "Now, Hermione, do you have a dress yet?"

"A dress?" she repeated, as if it suddenly occurred to her that she would eventually be wearing a white dress and walking down an aisle with a veil.

"I mean, it's fine if you do, and it's fine if you don't want to, but I was wondering if you'd want to wear my old one?" she asked softly, "I mean, it'd make much more sense if you wanted to wear your mother's, but…hah, mine's never made it to a wedding! Practically never been used!"

Hermione softened and smiled at her aunt, "I think it would be very neat, Aunt Janine."

Oliver looked curiously over at Irene, who motioned him over to the kitchen and spoke quietly to him, "Janine's fiancé was killed in a car crash two weeks before they were supposed to get married. That's why I'm livid Ruth brought it up, ooh, that – "

The swinging doors opened and Hermione frowned at her mother and fiancé, "Really?"

"Oh, Honey, Ruth was being a massive cow to you and she was getting on my nerves," Irene pouted.

"Mum!" Hermione groaned and slumped on the bar, running her hands through her hair, "We've been trying to get rid of the Edict, not go and tell our families and encourage it!"

"Why can't you just see this from my point of view?" Irene whined, "This way, I know you're marrying a decent bloke, and I know I'll at least get one grandchild."

"Mum!"

"Well!" she tried to defend her case, "You'd be a good mother!"

"Oh my God, Mum!" she gaped as Oliver leaned back against the counter and hid his growing smile, "You're so – "

"What, embarrassing? Ooh, did I finally do it, after all of these years of being a mother?" she asked excitedly. Jack walked into the kitchen and she beamed wider, "Honey, I've finally embarrassed her!"

"High-five!" he grinned, offering his palm.

Hermione thunked her head on the bar and gave a distressed whine, making Oliver chuckle and pat her head.

* * *

><p><strong>I really don't know about this chapter. I have doubts. But eh. I'll try to improve the quality of these chapters as I go on, as I've realized some are actually really crappy.<strong>


	7. This is the Beginning of the Plan

"He met your family?" George asked with a slight grin as Hermione Granger leaned against his work table with a pout and hung her head as she rubbed her eyes.

"My _entire_ family," she added as Fred began to chuckle.

"And how did that go over?" Fred asked a grinning Oliver.

"Pretty well," he answered, "Although, one of Hermione's aunts was a bit…."

"Rude, callous, horrid? Yes, that is my Aunt Ruth. The only thing she cares about is being the center of attention. Her daughter though is nice, my only female cousin my age," Hermione shrugged as Oliver arched an eyebrow at her.

"I thought I saw one other?"

"No, Robert and Luke are my age," she told him, "Jezebel is Robert's wife. They weren't there though, which was probably best, as they always get me riled up."

"Like we do?" George asked, tugging on a curl and making her swat him away.

"Yes, it seems rather similar," she smirked as the twins grinned back.

"But, Hermione, in all seriousness," Fred started worriedly, "Weddings are coming up and a few people have already come in to get 'gifts' for their new spouses. Is there any possible way for you to – "

"I'm trying," Hermione whined, slumping into George's seat behind the workbench, "I can't find anything. I can fight it, yeah, but that seems to be the only way. I doubt a petition would work, as they would only ignore it."

"You never did tell us how that hearing went," George remembered.

"I believe you remember the woman in charge – Dolores Umbridge?" Oliver gave a small grin when the twins froze and suddenly became absolutely livid.

"That awful woman?"

"That vile toad?"

"Are you _joking?_" they chorused, looking between the two as they shook their heads.

"Gred," George began after a quiet moment.

"Yes, Forge?" Fred asked.

"I believe we need to start on some new products _right away_," he said.

"And with this, we leave you," Hermione smiled as she stood and left with a wave, Oliver following her out.

"You were right," he smiled once they were out on the sidewalk, "That was amusing."

"Two seconds," she hummed, "I was expecting a lesser time."

"But I doubt that just Fred and George's pranks will make her go berserk enough to drop the edict, Hermione," Oliver noted.

She snorted and arched an eyebrow at him, "Please, did you think that was it? Oh no, Mister Wood, we have a lot more stops to make."

* * *

><p>"So you're tellin' me I am about tah get married because of the <em>toad<em>?"

"Seems so," Hermione sighed, rearranging a vase of flowers that Seamus's mother had dropped off in an attempt to lighten up the place.

He was silent for all of five minutes, during which Oliver mentally compared their accents and wondered which place of residency they'd drop by next, before he straightened up and frowned.

"What d'yah need me tah do?" he asked.

Hermione grinned and started waltzing her way to the door, "Boom."

Seamus's grin grew, "Yah sure?"

"Positive," she smirked as Oliver glanced between them worriedly, "Believe me, Seamus, we're going to make the toad's head spin so fast, her warts will fly off."

Seamus chuckled and nodded before turning to Oliver and shoving his hands in his pockets as Hermione left, "Looks like if this thing falls through, you'll have your hands full."

Oliver sighed and headed towards the door, "And here I thought she was still Goody-Two-Shoes."

"Hah!" Seamus barked a laugh.

Oliver grinned back, "Yeah, I was dead wrong."

* * *

><p>"Hermione, are you sure about this one? I mean, I understand the twins and Seamus and Dean, and even Neville Longbottom, but <em>them<em>?" Oliver asked as she rung the doorbell, rocking back and forth on her heels and waiting patiently.

"Of course I'm sure," she smiled before turning her attention back to the door, "I think they might want to help us the most."

"Ehh," Oliver said skeptically, "I highly doubt it."

Hermione only smiled more when the door opened and a dark skinned man opened the door, looking at her in confusion before turning his head and then quickly looking back.

"Hello, Blaise," she smiled.

He squinted at her for a moment more before leaning in a little, "Pansy?"

"No," Hermione frowned, "Hermione."

"No, no, Pansy, last week you used Polyjuice Potion to make yourself look like my mum and give me a heart attack, and so if this is the same joke – " Blaise began before Hermione cut him off.

"I'm not joking," she said, crossing her arms, "Where's your friend? He should hear this too."

Blaise stared at her for a moment more before glancing over at Oliver, "And you think this is a good idea because…why?"

"I don't," Oliver admitted, "I have no idea or control over what goes on in her head. But, so far, it's worked out pretty good."

Blaise sighed and swung the door open wider, nearly knocking the blonde in the face, "Well, we'll trust your judgment. Here's the Draco Malfoy you ordered."

Draco shot Blaise a glare before looking curiously at Hermione, "What do you want, Granger?"

She grinned wider, "Just a few favors."

Draco leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms and looking at her curiously, "And what makes you think we'd help you?"

She smirked, "Because _you_, Mister Malfoy, are set to marry a Miss Florence Figglehorn, and _you_, Mister Zabini, are set to marry her twin, Eugenia. Now, according to their names, they don't seem too pleasant to look at. And as I've heard on the street, you haven't met either of them. Do you really want to take that chance?"

Draco and Blaise stared at her for a moment before glancing at each other, simultaneously announcing that they were in.

Hermione grinned wider, "Brilliant. I'll Floo you with more details."

She then began her waltz down the hall, leaving Oliver there shaking his head.

"I have _no_ idea what she's doing," he announced to the two.

"Great, we should form a club," Blaise grinned, "We'd have a big meeting, I should think."

Draco rolled his eyes and headed back inside, muttering about 'freaking Gryffindors.'

* * *

><p><strong>Hi. I really don't know what else to say here. But hi.<strong>


	8. This is All According to Plan

**Hey guys! For some reason, I suddenly got "According to Plan" from the Corpse Bride in my head. Weird. Eh, it kind of fits into this story. **

* * *

><p>"Hermione, I'm not sure if you're aware, but Seamus has blown up nearly all of Knockturn Alley, Dean and Neville have accidentally unleashed the entire population of Hagrid's Blast-Ended Skrewts into the Ministry, Fred and George have been pranking the whole Auror's department, and Harry, Ron and Ginny have been going around sending faulty owls and sending everyone going crazy with false gossip. If this is part of your little plan, I highly doubt it's going according to plan," Oliver noted, following Hermione around as she picked up different books around the library at Grimmauld Place and set them away. Oliver had been on edge since he'd gone with her to ask the others for their cooperation, and today had finally proven his worst fear that she didn't know what to do. Wentz and Marissa had gotten married just a few days ago with much huffing and sighing and grumbling throughout the ceremony, although their mothers were delighted and tearing up and chumming it up. The only thing that made Wentz and Oliver smile – as Oliver had a horrible feeling of dread that his own wedding date was marching closer – was when Marissa gave a loud sigh and ripped off the lower half of her dress, tossing it away to reveal that she'd worn the lower half of her Quidditch uniform underneath. Her mother slapped her hands over her face as she wiggled her hips with a grin and said "I can't stand wearing dresses, always feel like I might accidentally flash someone." Wentz snorted loudly before laughing as Oliver chuckled to himself at his friends.<p>

But Hermione seemed undisturbed by this news, only turning to Oliver with her eyebrows raised slightly and a small smile before going back to shelving the books. "No, Oliver, everything is going exactly according to plan." She checked her watch before smiling again, "Right on the dot, actually." She walked out of the room as he trailed curiously after her, "Come on, walk with me."

"But there's chaos everywhere," Oliver told her as they stepped outside, "You couldn't have possibly planned everything that they're doing."

"Yes I could've, and I did," she smirked back.

"How?" he asked loudly, surprising himself when his accent suddenly seemed to crack. Hermione giggled at it before biting her lip at his glare.

She shrugged, "I went to school with them, I've learned and I've followed their patterns."

"Patterns?" he repeated.

She rolled her eyes, and Oliver thought that it was at him for a moment until she gave a sheepish grin, making him realize that it was meant for herself. "Fred and George will hit whoever has authority or whoever will make them seem cooler for having hit. Seamus is just full of spontaneity, he can only be planned to blow something up. Dean and Neville have a knack for clumsiness. Harry, Ron and Ginny know how annoying faulty publicity on you is, so I knew they would either do that or something else."

"And what will you do?" he questioned.

She smiled and waved him along, "Come and find out."

* * *

><p>Hermione was breathing heavily, her adrenaline pumping through her veins when the loud yell caused everyone to stop what they were doing. She glanced to her left and saw that Fred and George were back to back and wincing. A little farther on, and Ginny and Dean were grimacing but kept their wands pointed. Harry, Neville and Ron stood a little straighter and glared at the oncoming force, while Oliver helped Luna Lovegood up. As for Hermione, she was flat on her back. As this was hardly a proper position for a supposed leader to be in, she jumped up and glared at the pink clad toad, although smirked a little when she saw that her hair and everything was askew.<p>

"Miss Granger, you have directly violated - !"

"Blah-blah-blah – do you always have this strange air of self-importance?" she hummed dully, making Fred, George and Oliver blink.

Umbridge spluttered before picking up her glare, "You – you – "

"What?" Hermione gave a devilish little smirk, "Cow, bitch, whore, slut – _Mudblood?_" Her eyes lost the spark when Umbridge got a little bit paler, "Yeah, you can't go and sling the last one around freely anymore, can you? Simply won't do for the – well, whatever you are that makes you think you're important – to go and slander Hermione Granger. Or anyone else with that blood status. I wonder how many slips you might've had since you started working here. Tell me, Dolores, how many times you've thought it? Not even with me, but with somebody who might just have a little more power than you, how many times have you – "

"Miss Granger and company!" a loud voice barked, making Hermione cut off, flinch and shrink back a little, "My office, now!" She ducked her head and turned around to wince at the others, who had a near similar reaction, and followed her out towards Kingsley's office, a smug looking Umbridge looking after them. Once a few were seated and all with bowed heads, Kingsley started in, "Look, I know you aren't happy and I understand that you want to change it, but you can't go and terrorize my Ministry! Are you trying to ruin my reputation as well as your own? I've spent ages trying to fix what was after the War, and you go and – what?" Kingsley sighed, cutting himself off as Fred and George looked out of the window with frowns.

"There's a press conference down there," Fred noted dully as Neville and Harry walked over to them and looked down as well.

"Well, yes, you lot have caused quite the commotion. Umbridge is giving a statement in a few moments," Kingsley stated.

"Hmm," George said, glancing at his twin and then Neville and Harry, "Interesting." There were a few silent moments before the four took off running out of the room and down the hall, making Kingsley blink before throwing his hands into the air in frustration.

"I don't even give a shit anymore," he announced as the others jumped up and ran out as well. Fred and George were losing their jackets and rolling up shirt sleeves, ties somehow flying through the hallway as well. Luna danced along and picked their clothing items up as they went along, Hermione helping her slowly with the same small smile on her face. Oliver glanced back to see where they'd gone and saw the smile, and immediately knew that Hermione had _wanted_ Kingsley to get them, to make Umbridge feel like she'd won.

"Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen!" Fred announced, bursting through the door and interrupting Umbridge, "Now, I'm sure you all know who we are – I'm Fred, he's George, ya gotta love us."

"Also Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, yadda yadda, and Neville Longbottom, spiffing bloke who was in the War with us," George said, still working at a shirt sleeve.

"Now, you must all remember when the high lady of the Wizengamot herself taught us one year, right?" Fred asked slowly, a devious grin on his and George's faces.

"Well, what you may not remember is that she used blood quills on us," George said, pulling back his sleeve with Fred, Harry and Neville. Umbridge's eyes widened and she paled even more as Harry walked up to her and covered the microphone with his hand.

"We must not tell lies," Harry said with a grin as the older woman pursed her lips and glared at him, nearly turning purple.

Hermione gave Oliver a smirk as she walked up next to him, watching as the press went insane with this new piece of information.

"You planned _everything,_" he accused.

She gave him a grin, "They call me the brightest witch of my age for a reason, Mister Wood." And with that, she turned on her heel and practically danced off, humming to herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Because the blood quills <em>had<em> to come back and bite Umbridge in the butt. I mean, with such a big target, it'd be hard to miss.**


	9. This is A Freaking Ugly Dress

**I'm tired. Freaking daylight savings time. Whatever.**

* * *

><p>"So we basically did nothing?" Oliver questioned dully, sitting on the countertop in Hermione's parents' kitchen and watching as she stared intently at a cook book. She glanced over at him and frowned before sighing and tying her hair up.<p>

"No, we did something, it just doesn't affect us," she explained, "They dumped Umbridge and the Wizengamot agreed to have two representatives of our choosing for all future laws and edicts. That's where Blaise and Malfoy came in, and Wizengamot members aren't affected by the Edict, so they've been cleared. _We,_ however, are still going to be forced to get married. Sorry then – but I thought that at the very least, we'd help the 'greater good.'"

"I'm not upset that it's you, you know," Oliver said after a few moments, "I'm upset that I kind of don't have any say in the matter. Still, you aren't that bad. Better than Parkinson."

"And you're better than Goyle," she smiled back before taking a deep breath and setting her shoulders, "Alright, birthday cake!"

"Whose birthday?" he asked as he hopped down and looked over her shoulder to look at the picture. It was white and decorated with pale orange flowers, and he sincerely hoped they were icing, or at the very least fake

"Missus Weasley's," she smiled, brightening a little, "She's done so much for all of us over the years, we've decided to throw her a party. And I have been left in charge with the cake." She sighed and pouted, "Which will probably burn."

"Hey, I'll help you, maybe then we won't ruin her birthday," Oliver said with a small smile, nudging her hip with his.

"Great," she grinned back.

* * *

><p>"My <em>kitchen<em>."

"Err – hi, Daddy," Hermione grinned sheepishly as Oliver hid slightly behind her. "Uhm – we can fix it."

"My _kitchen_," Jack repeated, Irene barely containing her giggles at her husband and daughter, and future son-in-law. The latter two were covered in batter and icing, and it had splattered across the cupboards and countertops and there was still some flour floating around in the air. "What _happened_ to my _kitchen?_"

"The mixer won," Oliver said, gripping Hermione's shoulders and using her as a shield.

Irene suddenly let out a very loud laugh, doubling over and gripping the countertop for support. Jack sighed and dragged a hand over his face as Hermione took out her wand and began to flick it at the mess they had made. When they were done, only they were covered in batter, still with the sheepish grins.

"Move, I'll do it," Jack sighed, pushing her slightly out of the way and mumbling to himself, "Honestly, I don't know why I let you and your mother in the kitchen, let alone leave you two _alone_ in here."

Irene stepped over to her daughter and wiped a bit of the batter off of her cheek, licking her finger and grinning, "Well, the batter tastes good!"

"Mum!" Hermione laughed with her, Oliver chuckling beside them as Jack tried not to smile.

* * *

><p>Oliver groaned at the pecking at the window, dragging a hand across his face and wondering why there was wood in front of his face before realizing that he was in his bed, rather than wherever the hell he'd been for his dream. He hated when that happened, when you knew it was a strange dream but the second you woke up you couldn't remember it. With a sigh, he sat up and looked around his room as he stretched, blinking at the rather snobby looking owl peering back at him through the glass. He thought for a moment and ticked off the names and the owls that went with him. His parents had a tawny owl. Marissa had a black one, Wentz had a grey one. He wondered if Hermione had an owl, as this had never really occurred to him, and hopped out of bed to open up the window.<p>

The snobby looking owl regarded him coldly before swooping in and dropping a rather square looking parcel onto his bed and flying off again.

Oliver ripped it open and blinked at the white fabric as the square allowed it to get larger and larger. Grabbing the letter that went with it, his face went pale and his jaw unhinged. Without taking his eyes off of it, he grabbed his wand out from under his pillow and sent out a Patronus, "Granger, I think you need to get over here."

* * *

><p>Hermione leaned against the footboard of Oliver's bed and grimaced. The sleeves were poofy up at her shoulders, with fabric running down her arms and bunching up a little at the wrists. The neckline was nearly to her jaw, and the skirt was so tight that she could barely walk, bunching together at her ankles as if she had been caught in a draw-string bag.<p>

"You're _shitting_ me," Hermione repeated once more.

"_Dear Mister and soon-to-be Missus Wood, I understand that we may not have seen eye-to-eye on many circumstances, and as a token of my appreciation of your efforts in the Great War, I have hand-selected the wedding dress. I look forward to reading about your wedding in the Daily Prophet, and enjoy even more to see a picture. Dutifully, Dolores Jane Umbridge,_" Oliver read off the note, looking up at Hermione to see that she was grimacing. "We've got to find a way to get you out of that dress." He paused and turned a little red, laughing with Hermione at his own blunder, "I mean, for the wedding. And, possibly, in a few minutes – that looks like it's sucked you in with no intent on giving you back."

"I can't breathe," she sighed before frowning, "I can't move either. Ooh, that awful woman, if I don't wear it, she'll have an excuse to cause even more drama with me. If I do, I'll never be able to show my face in public again. We'll have to burn it – possibly with me in it."

Oliver circled around her, thinking while she talked before brightening and heading to his desk, opening a drawer and grabbing something before kneeling down and slicing down the side of the skirt, being careful not to stab her with the scissors or go too high up.

"Oops, looks like whoever had been cleaning it used the wrong spell," Oliver grinned up at her as she beamed down at him.

"Oliver, you're brilliant," she told him as he stood and handed over the shears.

"I know," he grinned back at her, making her roll her eyes and snip away at her sleeves. When they were done, Hermione was back into her shirt and jeans, both of them sitting on the edge of his bed and looking happily at the scraps of fabric.

"It's a tragedy."

"Such a shame."

"Oh, the horror."

They finally made eye contact and couldn't keep it up any longer, giggling madly.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi. So my school had a bomb threat today. Not fun. But everyone's alright. So – how was your day today?<strong>


	10. This is Ginny and Dean's Wedding

**Hi guys! Guess who got into a musical! Guess who had dance rehearsal! Guess who somehow hurt her knee on a turn at dance rehearsal!**

**Me! But it's getting better, I think. My mom and little brother brought in a fortune cookie and I popped it open and it said "_keep your feet on the ground even though your friends may flatter you"_ and I couldn't believe that happened. **

**Anyway - !**

* * *

><p>Oliver grimaced as he was steered towards the door, trying to back up and go the other way, but the twins weren't having it. They were grinning rather manically, and their hands were on either shoulder.<p>

Nearly everyone participated in the event was quite eager, as this time the bride and groom actually _wanted_ to marry one another. Oliver was, of course, quite glad for Ginny and Dean, because at the very least they were good friends and had even dated before, but he was also very scared at the idea that _he_ would be up at the altar quite soon, around a month left. He had nothing against Hermione, of course, he didn't know her that well, and that was part of the problem. Before all of this, he still remembered her as the small little first year with bushy hair and big teeth nestled into the corner of the common room with a large book, and not the fierce young woman with bushy hair and a cheeky grin. He had to constantly remind himself that these two versions were one and the same. The first year still shone through, of course, with the unruly hair and worried lower lip, and her front teeth were just a _smidge_ larger, and the even larger books, but then she'd completely confuse him – like with her plan at the Ministry, and even at the Battle of Hogwarts. When she'd come up to him afterwards with a small, tired smile and a nod of her head as a 'thanks for your help,' he'd blinked and realized that it was Hermione and not a complete stranger.

Still, that did not mean he would enjoy being the one to go wake her up.

"Now, go on in, Ollie, and tell Hermione that Ginny will be super pissed if her maid of honor is still in her pajamas for the ceremony," George prompted him as Fred stood with his hand on the doorknob.

"Of course, that's a lie, Ginny would find it hilarious, but that's not the point," Fred began before the door was quickly opened and Oliver was shoved in, the door somehow managing to shut quickly and quietly afterwards.

Oliver straightened up and looked over at Hermione as she clutched her pillow. He sucked in a breath and walked over to her bed, feeling like a creep, before sitting down at her side and patting her arm awkwardly. "Hermione?" he asked quietly, "It's time to get up. Ginny's getting married."

"Hmm," she hummed, frowning a little and hugging her pillow tighter, "Can I not go?"

Surprised that she wasn't mad, as he'd seen her get whenever the Weasley kids and even Harry had gone to wake her up, he gave a grin, "I think you kind of have to."

"Right, maid of honor," she sighed, releasing her pillow and opening an eye before smiling. "You look nice."

"Thanks," he grinned back, "Come on. I think Missus Weasley said something about breakfast."

"Ugh," she groaned and sat up, rubbing her eyes as Oliver bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at her wild hair. "Okay. I was about to ask for ten more minutes, but then you mentioned food."

"That'll do it," he chuckled, standing up and waiting for her feet to hit the floor before leading the way out of her room. Once downstairs, the twins looked bewilderedly at him before frowning at Hermione.

"Why didn't you get violent?" asked George.

"Because he didn't turn my pillow into a large python," she quipped before Missus Weasley ushered her into the kitchen. Oliver shot them a grin while they only huffed, obviously having wanted to see Hermione get violent towards her intended. Harry stepped down the stairs, looking tired, but dressed nice anyway, wearing a suit just like the rest of the men, although they were in various stages of being completely dressed. For a few minutes they talked about various things, Oliver, Harry and Ron breaking away from their conversation of Quidditch to smile up at Luna as she patted Ron on the shoulder.

"Where's Hermione?" she asked airily, "Fleur and Monica say they're ready for her."

"Kitchen," Oliver answered, making her smile a thanks before stepping off that way, coming back a few moments later with a bored looking Hermione with a piece of bacon dangling out of her mouth, the boys chuckling after her.

"Hey, here's the groom!" George said happily once Seamus dragged Dean in, who looked quite fidgety and far-away. "Well, this is one wedding we'll at least be pleased about!"

Dean gave a nervous half grin before sitting down in a chair, looking quite worried. Seamus sighed and sat against the arm rest, "Poor mate. He keeps wondering if she's only doin' this to make the Edict better."

"Dean, that's a load of rubbish," Percy stated bluntly, making Fred, George and Ron chuckle a little.

"Yeah, Mate – you asked her, she gave an answer – if she'd said no, then, well, she'd be married to you anyway," Harry shrugged, "Why say 'yes' when you don't get a choice anyway, right?"

"Err – right," Ron said slowly, still trying to think through Harry's logic, "Look, Ginny really likes you. I'd say love, but that's mushy and also my baby sister. Everything will be fine, Dean. Unless, of course, you muck up. Then it won't be fine."

Dean grimaced at the pointed looks the Weasley males gave him, Harry and Oliver trying not to grin with Seamus, "Alright. Yeah. Way to motivate someone, guys."

"If it helps," Hermione said from the staircase, leaning against the railing and eating her bacon, "She's practically bouncing around saying 'Mrs. Ginny Thomas' and grinning like an idiot."

Dean perked up considerably, "Really?"

"It's seven in the morning," she said bluntly, "There's no way I could possibly make that up this early."

"Now where was this person at school?" Ron asked with a huff, fists on his hips, "We had to listen to 'early worm catches the bird' every single morning, didn't we, Harry?"

"We had to listen to 'early bird catches the _worm_,' Ron," Harry corrected before tilting his head up at their friend, "Uhm, Hermione, why aren't you getting ready?"

"Fleur told me I couldn't eat in there with all of the dresses," she said with a shrug, "So – here I am." She gave a grimace when a door opened and Fleur called her up, giving a sigh and popping the rest of her bacon into her mouth and saluting to the boys, the twins having which started humming the funeral march, hands over their hearts and solemn expressions on their faces.

"Poor kid," Fred sighed once the door was shut, dropping his hand as George shook his head.

"She was too young, too young I tell you," George began before brightening and turning to Oliver excitedly, "That's right, she's four years younger than you!"

"So, Oliver, tell us – how does it feel to be robbing the cradle?" Fred asked as he sat on the arm rest, patting Oliver on the shoulder as he frowned and blushed up at him.

"About the same as you gettin' kicked in the ribs," he glared.

"Ahh, they should be careful too," Seamus grinned, glad that the moody Dean had been replaced with the happy one, "Irish, Scottish – not too keen to pick a fight with."

"Hey, I thought you were on our side," George pouted a little as Charlie, Bill, Percy and Harry watched on in amusement.

"Well, why would I?" he asked, blinking, "He didn't stuff slugs down my pants when I was tryin' to talk to Helen Rogers in fourth year!"

"Don't mention slugs," Ron snapped, making Harry try to cough back his laughs and failing miserably.

"She called me Sluggy Seamus for two years!" Seamus continued, glaring at the twins, "I went to the Yule Ball _alone!_"

Dean gave a laugh before slapping his hands over his mouth as his friend glared at him before sheepishly grinning, "Sorry. Slipped out."

"Eet bettar not 'ave been a curse word," Fleur glared from the bottom of the staircase, a small blonde little girl on her hip, "Eef you curse in front of Victoire, we will 'ave a funeral razzer than a wedding." Dean smiled apologetically at her as Bill stood and took his daughter from her, grinning at her as she proudly showed him her dress.

"You look beautiful, Victoire," he said, pecking her on top of her head, "You ready to be the flower girl?"

"Flowa, flowa," she sang happily, making him grin a bit wider and chuckle.

"We need a few more minutes," Fleur stated before sighing, "'Ermione's 'air is…troublesome." Harry and Ron shared grins at this. "Monica is working on 'er makeup. She keeps sticking 'er tongue out every few moments and making 'er laugh, zough."

"At least they're getting along," Harry pointed out, "Hermione isn't exactly the easiest girl to get along with, especially if you have even the smallest possibility of hurting her friends."

"She should at _least_ wait until we are done!" she huffed before going back upstairs, the boys chuckling once they'd heard the door shut.

* * *

><p>Hermione sighed, blowing a curl out from hitting her nose and frowning when it only plopped back where it started. She was forced to wait for the bridal march, just like every other bridesmaid, although Luna was handling it far better than she was. She hated heels and whatever dress Ginny – or, rather, Fleur – had put her in. She wanted to sit down and watch in a pew, as they'd gone to the small church in the Muggle village rather than deal with the tent out in the backyard.<p>

Luna was twirling around, watching as her light blue dress twirled around her, Monica in the same form of dress and chatting animatedly to Ginny, who was dressed in wedding robes which had been her mother's, although pinned to fit her better, with a veil pinned on top of her head. Hermione, however, was dressed differently, as she was the maid of honor, although that didn't give much of a reason in her eyes. While Luna and Monica had pale blue dresses, with billowing sleeves and long hems and modest neckline, she was in a grey-purple dress, the hem not even reaching her knees, with off-shoulder sleeves. Her hair was pinned up, making her neck feel exposed – and she was rather cold, too, as she was not used to having air hit her shoulders and neck. Whereas Luna and Monica had purple flowers, she was given blue, although they all did have the same strappy white heels.

Mister Weasley strode towards them, grinning back at Ginny before pecking her forehead. The music started, Victoire happily toddling out down the aisle with her basket of flowers, Monica walking out after her and making sure she wouldn't dump them all in one spot, Luna floated along after her, and Hermione was left to squeeze Ginny's hand, shoot her a bright smile, and step out as well.

* * *

><p>"<em>I won't cry, I won't cry, I won't cry<em>," Hermione repeated to herself, looking up at the ceiling and blinking rapidly to try to get rid of the tears, as she very well couldn't wipe them away, since she was holding two bouquets. In the end, she gave a sigh and let one slip out, turning her attention back onto a barely-restricted-from-bouncing bride. Dean was beaming next to her, Seamus smiling for his best friend as Harry glanced worriedly over at Hermione, Neville keeping Teddy in line although the little boy desperately wanted to get out of the itchy suit and tie.

She gave a small smile and mouthed out, "I'm okay."

But the sad thing was, she wasn't okay. Ginny was the exception to the Edict, refusing to be sad as to who she was getting married to. But all Hermione could feel was fear and guilt. Fear that she was screwing everything up horribly, that she and Oliver wouldn't be cordial, and that her whole life was slipping out of her control. Guilt that she hadn't stopped the choice from being given to the Ministry, instead trying to sugar coat it and make it better. Guilt that it wasn't only _her_ life that was being screwed up.

"Hermione?" Luna murmured worriedly, making Hermione glance at her out of the corner of her eye and give her a fake smile. Luna, however, not one to be fooled, smiled back and wrapped her hand around her elbow, making Hermione shoot her a thankful, weary smile before looking back at Ginny.

* * *

><p>"Do we have to throw the bouquet, even when we all know who's getting married next?" Hermione asked dully, standing next to Monica and one of Ginny's cousins.<p>

Ginny frowned and gave her a pointed look, "Shut up and catch."

"Luna's getting married before me, and Monica before her!" Hermione exclaimed, grinning a little when a few other people laughed.

Ginny glared at her before waving the bouquet of flowers around at her, "Alright, see this? This isn't symbolizing who gets married next. This is symbolizing who gets to take these pretty flowers home."

"I thought I got to take my maid of honor flowers home?" Hermione asked cheekily.

Ginny made an annoyed huff of air before glaring at her once again, "I'm aiming at your face."

"I'll be sure to duck," she said with a grin, dodging out of the way when the flowers zoomed towards her head. She blinked before grinning happily at the bride, "You missed!" Ginny only laughed at her, going down the few steps to hug her friend. "Ginny, you're a beautiful bride."

"And you're a gorgeous maid of honor," she smiled back, patting her cheek, "Merlin, I can't wait to be cheeky and sentimental at your wedding."

She sighed, giving a sad smile at her friend, "Yeah, well. At the very least, name your first born after me."

"Sweetie, children can't pronounce 'Hermione,'" she grinned back, pecking her cheek, "I'll be back in two weeks, you'll see me at Ron's."

"Go, have fun, frolic on beaches or whatever it is married people do on their honeymoons." Ginny arched an eyebrow at her and made Hermione wrinkle her nose, "I was keeping it G-rated. I know what they do, now _shove off._" Ginny laughed loudly, hugging her once again as she blushed a little before she moved on to say goodbye to Luna.

Hermione sighed and moved to Harry, who grinned at her before she leaned against the column with him. "I'm glad she's happy, Harry."

"I'm glad she is too," he agreed, watching her interact with Luna.

"You know," she started after a moment, "I always thought you two would get married." She glanced at Harry when he was silent before he turned and gave her a grin.

"I did too, around sixth year," he stated before giving a one shouldered shrug and handing her a chute of champagne. "I guess things change."

She blinked at him for a few moments before pecking his cheek, "I guess so."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay! Finally broke into the triple-digit pages on my computer, brilliant!<strong>

**So, review, you lovely people you, and make me happy. Please, oh please, oh _please?_**


	11. This is the Other Weddings

**I don't like writing weddings.**

**I really should've thought about that before doing this story.**

**So – I will mush together all the weddings I can think of, then another chapter, than _the big one._ And then the rest of the story.**

**Also – is everyone alright after what happened in Boston and Iraq? Are you all okay? Please, let me know. I worry about you guys like you wouldn't believe. **

* * *

><p>"Are you ever going to see a wedding where you'll be able to see from the normal-peoples' angles?"<p>

Hermione turned and looked to see that Oliver was grinning down at her, making her grin back and shrug, "Highly doubtful."

"Isn't it a bit weird though?" he asked, adjusting the headband on her head before looking back down at her face for an answer.

"What? Being part of the weddings rather than the audience, or the 'best woman' thing?"

Oliver grinned wider, "Both."

It was highly unusual, and a bit weird, to be asked to be your best mate's "best woman" for his wedding. She'd even questioned Ron about this, but he and Harry had insisted. Not to mention, of course, that Hermione was Harry's best man, along with Ron. This had been questioned frequently, even by Hermione, but he and Ron had both insisted and Harry had stated that he was going to do the same for his wedding. She'd then started to tear up and hugged the both of them, then asking them if they'd like to be her 'men of honor,' which Ginny had grinned to and stated that she'd still be the _maid_ of honor, in this case.

"Ahh, well," Oliver shrugged as he turned on his heel to go sit with the other guests, "All the same. You look beautiful, by the way."

Hermione blushed when he looked over his shoulder and gave a grin, fidgeting in the dark green dress and huffing just a little, looking up to see that Oliver had been stopped by a chattering bridesmaid. She smirked and stepped up to him, standing on her toes to speak, "At least it's far better than what Umbridge sent me. But, then again, you did want to get me out of that dress, now didn't you?" With that, she turned on her heel and walked off, but not before glancing over her shoulder to see that he was blushing, and giving her a very dirty glare. With a laugh, she slipped back into the room with Ron and Harry.

* * *

><p>Hermione released a breath, smiling slightly as Ron quickly scrambled for the ring, grimacing a little as Harry glared at him, Luna only chuckling as Ginny scowled at her brother's clumsiness.<p>

It was rather strange and unconventional, she guessed, but then again, it was Luna and Harry's wedding. There were autumn leaves covering the ground, and they were in the middle of a forest, and there were fairy lights and chairs to watch the ceremony. She had on a burnt orange dress that started to scrunch past her waist, making her tug on it a little while holding the bouquet of lilies – which had, surprisingly, been suggested by Luna, rather than Harry. She smiled at the memory and thought that her boys would certainly be taken care of.

Xeno Lovegood was sniffling quietly beside Missus Weasley, who was hugging a very uncomfortable looking Oliver, making Hermione grin a little while he shot her a glare.

"And do you, Harry James Potter, take Luna Aurora Lovegood, as your lawfully wedded wife?" the voice announced, making Hermione blink before shaking her head and smiling back at Harry and Luna.

"Aurora?" Ron muttered quietly to himself, making Hermione roll her eyes and lean over to hiss in his ear.

"Honestly, Ronald," she murmured, "She's named after her mother."

"Oh," he said quietly before perking up when Luna was heard saying in her dreamy voice, "I do too."

"You may now kiss the bride," the minister announced, making Harry dip his head and peck her quickly on the lips, Luna smiling back before kissing him on the cheek. Hermione grinned wider when she saw Ginny burying her face in her own bouquet, giving small whines and sniffles before Ron nudged her shoulder and murmured amidst the applause, "You're crying."

Hermione blinked, gave a big sniff, and rubbed underneath her eyes with her pinky, "Shut up." Ron chuckled and gave her a side hug, making her lean her head against his shoulder and smile as Harry and Luna turned, grinned, and walking back down the aisle.

* * *

><p>"You 'ave two weeks left, and you 'ave not discussed anyzing about ze wedding," Fleur said, glaring harshly at Oliver and Hermione as they fidgeted, staring down at the tabletop, Hermione pouting a little. "Now – who ees coming?"<p>

Hermione looked over at Oliver, who looked back at her and gave a grimace. "Ahh – dunno."

Fleur gave a huff, "What are ze bridesmaids wearing?"

"Dunno," Hermione murmured quietly.

"Where ees ze wedding taking place?"

"We dunno."

"Oh, you two are certainly a match made in 'eavan – you are boz impossible!" she gave a huff and stomped out, making George grin from his position on top of the counter, kicking his legs out as the two sighed.

"Well, it seems that you two haven't been chatting," George noted, setting his elbow against a leg as he crossed them.

"Well, there's kind of been a bunch of weddings to go to, George," Oliver stated.

"Oy, don't get all Irish on me," he said as he stuck his tongue out.

"He's Scottish," Hermione said for him, making him nod dully at the redhead as he blinked.

"Well – you learn something new every day," he grinned before hopping down, "Freddie and I will help you with your wed – "

"Oh no you won't!" Hermione and Oliver stated, blinking at each other in surprise as George pouted and whined.

"C'mon," he whined, stretching it out, "We'll be good – we'll sign Hermione-ish contracts too, if you want. And besides – at least we'll be fun!"

The two shared doubtful glances before Hermione sighed, shrugging to Oliver before he shrugged back.

"Fine," Hermione said dully, "Just nothing _too_ big."

George brightened and nodded before going out of the dining room, humming to himself, "Well, there goes the dragons."

Hermione grimaced as Oliver thunked his head on the tabletop repeatedly.

"Merlin, what have we done?" he muttered against the surface.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm cold. But then again my hair is wet and I am not covered with blankets.<strong>


	12. This is Oliver's Full Time Job

**I only hope I don't mess this chapter up, because I am fairly sure I'll like it.**

* * *

><p>Hermione released a loud sigh, staring at her calendar with a date circled in red ink multiple times. Now, normally, if she'd had a choice, she would've been ecstatic that the date was drawing closer, rather than the opposite.<p>

She had a week. Seven days before her opinion on the matter didn't count for anything. Where she had no choice about it for the rest of her days. Where Oliver was in the same boat as her. Where the both of them were completely and utterly lost.

She was meeting his family today. His entire family, actually – or, rather, the ones who could come. He'd grimaced when he told her this before patting her hand and grinning nervously, "It'll be fine," he said, although it looked as if he needed the convincing rather than her.

She was supposed to meet him in Diagon Alley to Apparate her to Scotland, where she'd meet his parents and all of his other relatives in the home he'd grown up in. So, she set out the door of the Burrow, tightening her tan trench coat around her, glad that she'd chosen a nice shirt and skinny jeans on the windy day, before popping away.

* * *

><p>Oliver had been running late, due to practice running a bit longer, and had therefore lost track of where Hermione was. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember where they said they'd meet in the first place. Groaning, he thumped his head on the nearest brick wall, frowning to himself and thinking about what a wonderful start they were getting off to. Sighing, he stepped away from the wall and walked down the sidewalk, thinking for a bit with his hands stuffed in his pockets.<p>

They'd have to be married in a week and have a kid in about a year after that. Merlin, the marriage would be awkward enough, but they wanted them to _reproduce?_ The Ministry had been collectively gathered, held in one large hand, and bonked on the heads with the other, he decided, because this was all incredibly insane.

Oliver picked his head up and looked around curiously, as he'd walked towards Knockturn Alley and had heard a muffled sound. There weren't any people out on the street with him, mainly warm in shops, so he stood for a few moments and listened before his ears perked up upon hearing, "Shut yer gab, Sweetheart."

Walking cautiously towards the sounds and the muffled screams, he stepped into a small dead end alley right inside Knockturn and saw that Hermione was being held by four particularly large men. Eyes wide and without thinking to grab his wand first, he grabbed the first man and punched him directly in the face before kicking another in the stomach, Hermione yanking herself free and swinging a leg around to the third, growling before punching the fourth squarely between the eyes as Oliver grabbed his wand and started shooting spells, taking a deep breath once it was still and silent before Hermione gave out a feeble scream, looking at him with big eyes before he reached forward and hugged her, rubbing her back as she shook.

"Dear Merlin," he croaked, "It's a full time job with you, isn't it?" At her glare, he gave a shaky grin, "C'mon, let's get you to Mum's. I'll send a Patronus to the Auror department." Hermione nodded and held on to his arm, still shaking a little but trying to calm herself down.

* * *

><p>"Poor lamb!" Oliver's mother cried once she'd heard that Hermione had been attacked, quickly hugging the girl as she looked pleadingly at Oliver with wide eyes. "Oh, poor, dear girl!"<p>

"Uhh, Auntie Martha?" one of Oliver's younger cousins, Travis, interjected, grinning as his sand colored hair threatened to fall into his big blue eyes, freckles covering his cheeks, "I'm fairly sure yah don' call Hermione Granger a 'poor lamb.'" Oliver chuckled and ruffled up the ten year old's hair, making him grin a little bit wider and try to swat him away.

"Also," Travis's mother started with a small smile, "She might be a _tad_ uncomfortable."

"Oh, sorry – I'm a hugger," Martha apologized, finally releasing Hermione as she laughed and swept her hair back.

"It's alright – Missus Weasley did the same to me once," she grinned back. "I've gotten used to it."

"Ah you really Hermione Granger?" Oliver's niece, Adriana, asked, six years old and looking up at her curiously, curly blonde hair tucked behind a headband. At her nod, she beamed and bounced, "Ah wan' tah be like you when ah grow up!"

Oliver pouted at her, "I thought you wanted to be like me when you grew up?"

"Nah," she shook her head, "Hermione's wicked!" Hermione chuckled and barely hid it, grinning back at Oliver as he pouted a bit more.

"Yah took my niece!" he cried, swooping Adriana up into his arms with a dramatic sigh, "Oh, how will I cope?"

"See, he does it again!" Martha exclaimed as Oliver's father walked in, "Three minutes back home, and he's talkin' normal again!"

Luke chuckled and rolled his eyes as Oliver gave a frown, "He's always been like this. We never can tell when it's natural or forced with him."

"Huh?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Ollie's always been good at doin' accents," Kade grinned, sticking his tongue out at his younger brother before taking his daughter back, "I remember, we went to France once, and he had the natives fooled! 'Course, he doesn't know French, but they were wonderin' if Ma 'nd Da kidnapped a French kid the whole trip."

Hermione laughed while Oliver glared at Kade.

"I hate you," he said as Travis climbed on top of his back, not even breaking away from his glare, "Why yah gotta tell stories like that? I gotta deal with her for the rest of my life – you think I want to hear _them_ every day?"

Luke rolled his eyes and grimaced at Hermione, "We're so very sorry for you, Hermione." Hermione only laughed again before Adriana tugged on her hand to get her attention.

"Ah yah really marryin' Uncle Ollie?" she asked breathlessly, her eyes wide.

"Yes, I am," she smiled back before the little girl beamed and begin to bounce.

"Ah we invited?" she asked.

"Of course," Oliver and Hermione answered at once.

"So – we'll be related?"

Hermione chuckled and nodded, making her give a small scream and hug her around the waist, skipping off to go tell her mother as Hermione blinked a little.

"Why were you so worried about me meeting your family?" Hermione asked Oliver with a small smile as Travis set to messing up his cousin's hair as he blinked at his fiancé.

"Cousin Calyn," Oliver and Travis said glumly, sharing identical looks as Martha swatted at the two with a dishrag.

"Now boys, yah can't go and – "

"Mum, you _know_ what Calyn's like," Oliver said, setting Travis back on the floor as the younger boy nodded his agreement, "Ah don't see why yah had her come."

"Well, she is family Oliver, and she does care about you…deep down," she stated, not looking at him and instead focusing on mixing something on the stove. "Somewhere," she added in a mutter.

"So, what's so bad about Calyn?" Hermione questioned with an arched eyebrow.

"She's very…uhm…she's a stereotypical Pureblood, aside from the inbreeding," Oliver stated slowly with a wince, "I hate her, Travis hates her – basically everyone does, we just can't tell her or her mother. And it's weird – her mother is the nicest person you'll ever meet, and then there's Calyn."

"Uhh, something tells me this will be interesting," Luke said with a grimace, sitting down at the table before motioning for Hermione to sit to his right, "Don' worry, Dear, we'll make sure she doesn't torment you."

"Thank you," she said politely before Travis brightened.

"Ah can get a toad and stick it in her purse again, if yeh want!" he said happily.

"Again?" Hermione questioned before shaking her head and patting his shoulder, "No, Travis, that's fine, I'm sure if push comes to shove, I can take care of things myself."

Oliver bit the inside of his cheek, thinking back to what he'd seen at Knockturn, but kept it to himself.

"Yah know, if yeh get rid of her, we won't feel that sad," Travis stated. "We might even thank yeh."

"Travis!" Luke, Martha and his mother admonished, making him blink before crowing out "Well it's _true!_"

* * *

><p>"Calyn, don't," Oliver started, keeping Hermione behind his back as the young woman seemed to advance on her.<p>

She had soft brown hair and green eyes, her lips pursed as she appraised her cousin before snorting, "Oliver, she isn't like us."

"I'll give yeh that, but it's not a bad thing," he stated with a glare.

They were in the den, the rest of the family in the living room, completely unaware of what was going on with the three. Oliver had been showing Hermione the house, giving his memories and stories that had been told, when Calyn showed up and began to be her nasty self. Hermione had bitten back a retort several times, and Oliver had been trying to get her to leave at first before he resorted to finally standing his ground and glaring at his cousin.

"She's trash, she's – "

"Oh, don't _even,_ Sweetheart," Hermione interjected with a glare, stepping out from behind Oliver and making them both blink, "Look, whatever prejudices you may have, and whatever thoughts or opinions you may have of me, let me make one thing clear – I will not stand by and let you trash-talk me, my family, and a good number of my friends without a fight. This was strike one – that was your only one. Next time, I will not be pleasant."

Calyn only rolled her eyes before smirking, "Aww, look at the cute little Mudblood – she talks the talk, but can she – augh!"

"Hermione!" Oliver said in surprise, reaching out and grabbing her around the middle to pull her back from kicking her again, although she went compliantly with a glare towards the woman.

"I warned you," she said seriously before Oliver gripped her shoulder and towed her out of the den, leaving Calyn to clutch her nose as he poked his head in to the living room and announced hurriedly that they were leaving and that Hermione had a lovely time and he'd Floo and write more often before he dragged her outside to look at her with wide eyes. "I warned her," she said with a shrug before he doubled over laughing.

Once he had sobered up and hooked an arm around her shoulders to tow her into a hug, he grinned down at her. "Full time job."

* * *

><p><strong>I just want to get to things I want to write like dialogue and stuff with this story and that is wrong and I should not do it.<strong>


	13. This is Their Wedding With Gomez Addams

**Sad Fact about My Knee: If it doesn't start to feel better after a week of having a brace, I may have to go in for an MRI. If there's a tear, I may have to get surgery. If I get surgery, I may not be in the musical anymore.**

**Happy Fact: I get to use elevators instead of taking stairs! Laziness for the win!**

* * *

><p>"Dear Merlin, what is <em>that?<em>" Hermione asked with wide eyes, looking at the beaming twins as Alicia and Angelina grimaced behind them and shared worried glances. Fleur and Monica were working on her hair and makeup, all of them having stopped to stare at Fred and George. They were already dressed nicely, as were Alicia and Angelina, although Hermione, Ginny, Fleur and Monica still had to get dressed.

"It's a dragon!" George said with a grin, holding out his cupped hands once more, "Charlie helped us out when I told him you said nothing big!"

"You – got – a – _dragon?_" Hermione stressed, looking pleadingly at Ginny before looking back at them.

"Err – no," Fred faltered as he shared a look with George. "We've got, like, twenty dragons."

"_Aah!_" Hermione made a squeak as Ginny slapped a hand over her eyes.

"No, no, it's okay," Charlie reassured, stepping into the room and slipping through the twins to step closer to the pale girl and explain, "They're completely harmless – it's like those things they pulled out of a bag at the Triwizard Tournament, just without the ability to breathe fire. They can still claw and bite and stuff though, but it's just like little nips and a small scratch. So – tell the guests not to agitate them."

"We thought we'd set them on the tables," Fred grinned once Hermione looked more reassured. "Have them steal food off the plates and stuff when the guests aren't looking."

"Oliver thought it was cool," George noted, making Angelina snort and roll her eyes.

"Oliver immediately said, without hesitating, 'Hermione is going to kill you,'" she stated dully.

"Well, I knew what he really meant," he said before sticking his tongue out at her.

"By the way, you look gorgeous," Charlie said with a charming grin before slipping back out of the room.

"I feel like I'm about to puke," Hermione stated dully, frowning at her reflection as she took in the front of her curls being pinned back, the rest tamed, which suited her just fine, although she did see a small jar of glitter that made her purse her lips. Her makeup looked natural, as far 'natural' as makeup could get, and she thought it looked very pretty. But it still wouldn't get rid of the knots her stomach was putting itself in, or how pale her skin was. Given a few more minutes to think about the situation, and she'd probably be shaking.

"It'll be alright, Granger," George promised, dropping down to one side to smile.

"Yeah, if Ollie tries anything, we'll punch 'im!" Fred said gleefully before swooping down and pecking her temple as George did the same on the other.

"And you'll always be part of the Weasley family," Ginny promised, setting a loose curl away.

"Thanks," she smiled wearily before glancing back at the mirror and brightening, standing and striding to the new person at the door. "Mum!"

"Oh, Sweetheart, I'm so sorry I'm late," she said, wincing and crossing to her to hug, pulling her back after a moment to smile at her appearance.

"It's alright," she smiled, grinning at the twins and their wives as they left the room. She arched an eyebrow as she blinked, looking at her mother's arms, "Uhm, Mum, where's Aunt Janine's dress?"

She bit her lip and gave a sheepish grin, "Sweetie, I had to."

"Had to what?" she asked rather nervously.

"Well, she is family, and she so desperately wanted to see your wedding, so I told her that you're a…well…." She wrinkled her nose as a response, making Hermione begin to shake a little.

"M-Mum, you didn't," she said before groaning when she nodded, "You did. You told her. Oh, what'd she say?"

She heard a sniff and blinked, seeing her smirking aunt as she held the dress bag, "I am offended that you would think I would shun my totally wicked niece simply because she has magic." She grinned and pecked her forehead, "Your mum also told me about the Edict, and even though it wasn't your choice, I must say you look gorgeous, and I am so very pleased that you want to wear my dress. You have no idea how happy and proud I am, Hermione."

Hermione smiled and hugged her, "Thank you so much for letting me wear it."

Fleur tapped her shoulder and gave a soft smile, "We'll be getting each ozzer ready. Per'aps your mozzer and aunt would dress you?"

Janine grinned back at Hermione, gripping her hand as Ginny, Monica and Fleur walked into an adjoining room to get dressed, shutting the main door as Irene and Janine helped her to get ready.

* * *

><p>"Merlin, Ollie, your hair never did stay down as a kid."<p>

Oliver blinked and sat up from his slumped position on the couch to look up at Kade before grinning and standing, shrugging and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, well," he said before Kade sighed and grabbed a brush, yanking Oliver's shoulder to turn him around and start to brush through his hair as he winced.

"Look, Oliver, ah know that tha Edict is yer least favorite thing, and ah know that yah don' wan' tah get married yet, but still – there's worse you could do than Hermione Granger."

Oliver made a noncommittal hum, thinking before Kade whacked him in the shoulder with the brush. He turned around and glared at him as he grinned back, setting the brush down and grinning at him cheekily. "What was that for?"

"Look, here's yer weddin' present early, alright?" he said as Oliver turned around and tilted his head at him. "In any marriage, yah gotta _make_ it work. Hermione's smart, but she's a lass. Lasses and lads come from two _entirely_ different planets. Yah gotta build a telescope strong enough to see her planet. Make sense?"

"Up until you got to the planet junk – totally," he snorted as Kade rolled his eyes. "I have to see it from her point of view. Right, got it, Kade."

"Good," he smiled back before arching an eyebrow, making Oliver grin a little.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"So, after you and Hermione wen' off a few weeks ago, Calyn came into tha livin' room and said that Hermione had given her a bloody nose. Care tah explain?"

Oliver only shrugged and dully said, "She warned her."

Kade laughed and clapped him on the shoulder, "Well, whatever happened, it got her to not come to the weddin', so that's good for everyone!"

Oliver laughed back, grinning brightly at his brother.

* * *

><p><em>You are about to be married. You are not going to muck this up. If you muck this up, her family, your family, and the Weasleys will come after you. You will have to go into hiding as a hermit, and that's if you escape with your life. Do not muck anything up<em>, Oliver thought to himself, biting the inside of his cheek as the minister straightened his robes and gave a loud sniff. He glanced over at the minister and blinked before doing a double take, glancing over at Kade to make sure he saw it too. Kade glanced back at him, nodding slowly with a solemn expression on his face before the brothers had to repress smiles, their shoulders shaking, as the minister looked as though he was from an old Muggle television show that had been popular in America.

"That French lass better watch out," Kade murmured to his brother, only making them try not to laugh again, as the character on the show had been very keen to kiss his wife whenever she'd spoken French.

"_Boys,_" Martha hissed, making them turn and grin apologetically to her before sharing pointed looks with one another.

Harry cleared his throat, making Oliver blink and realize that the bridal march and long since started. He turned and blinked several times, his jaw only nearly dropping to the floor as Mister Granger guided his daughter up to the altar.

Hermione's aunt's dress had been quickly tailored with magic to fit better, although if they hadn't it probably would've been alright. It had a sleeveless corset bodice, her mother's borrowed pearls around her neck, the skirt floating down off of her hips, rather wide but not overbearing. She didn't have a veil, but she did have several dark red roses, a bright blue one in the bouquet. She was blushing, wishing that everyone wasn't looking at her, and slipped out of her father's grip after pecking him on the cheek with her eyes cast down to the floor.

She stepped up next to Oliver and glanced at him before giving a shaky smile, looking to the minister as he spoke before she gave a small squeak, her eyes growing wide as she bit her lower lip and glanced back at Oliver, making him smile a little and snap twice before she smiled back and nodded, the two trying not to laugh.

Simple vows were exchanged, as well as simple rings, but once it came to the "you may now kiss the bride," the two looked at each other with wide eyes while Harry snorted, Ginny and Ron stifling laughter while a few chuckles were heard.

"Is it really necessary?" Oliver asked the minister, who only arched an eyebrow at him as he sighed, looking sternly at a blushing Hermione for a moment. "Do _not_ hit me, Granger." He swooped down and pecked her lips, only causing the laughter to get louder for a moment before they applauded.

* * *

><p>"So we weren' the only ones – he looked like Gomez Addams, right?" Kade asked Hermione seriously as she laughed and nodded.<p>

"I wanted to ask him if he could fence," she chuckled, "I doubt that would've been a good idea."

Kade laughed as well before Adriana bounded up to her father and he picked her up, hugging her for a moment before they both turned back to Hermione, smiling.

"So, if the kiss was awkward, I wonder how the honeymoon's going to go?" Ginny asked cheekily, muttering in her friend's ear. Hermione rolled her eyes and swatted at her, making her chuckle a little.

"There's not a honeymoon," she told her.

"Uhh, about that," Kade began as he ushered Adriana to go find her mother, grimacing a little at the bride, "The Ministry is rather forcing it."

Hermione's jaw dropped and she blinked at him before she snapped it shut and her eyebrows rose, "You're joking."

"Err – 'fraid not."

"Ugh," she groaned, slumping against Ginny and pouting, "I halfway wish Fred and George had gotten a full grown dragon and it'd gotten loose right about now."

"Yeah, 'bout that," Kade sniffed as he looked at her pointedly, "Adriana wants to take one home now, thanks to you."

"Oh, let her – they're harmless and are really just pieces of clay," Hermione shrugged, "Just tell her not to agitate it."

"Stop stealing mah niece," Oliver frowned, as Adriana had happily wiggled out of his arms and skipped to go find her pet dragon when they both heard this.

"Ooh, Oliver, did you hear what else we were talkin' about?" Kade asked with a devious grin, Ginny quickly matching it as Hermione slapped a hand over her eyes and blushed. Oliver arched an eyebrow as Hermione quickly moved over to her parents and aunt, thumping her head against her mother's shoulder as Janine patted her back, Irene rolling her eyes a little, but with a smile as her father leaned in to her hear speaking.

"Well, it turns out tha' the Ministry is enforcin' tha honeymoon," Kade said as Oliver paled before blushing a little, glaring at his brother as he and Ginny snickered.

"Well, you _do_ have to have a kid at some point," Ginny pointed out before Adriana ran up to her uncle and happily showed him the small Hungarian Horntail that Harry had helped her pick out. At this, Oliver smirked at Kade, who only groaned.

* * *

><p><strong>No, you perverted people - I will not have them doing anything on their honeymoon. And if they ever do get to the point of doing anything, I will not write it out. But – yay, they're married!<strong>

**Also – I don't know how to explain how certain dresses look like. Just picture whatever the hell you want to picture. Also, the Addams Family is an awesome tv show. The black and white only makes it awesomer – you couldn't pull off the same effect with color.**


	14. This is Where Oliver Heats Small Houses

**Hi, I'm Emilee, and I had so much crap to do this summer. I was in a musical, and a week after that was done I went to the International Thespian Festival for a week, and then now we're going on vacation in the morning. Ehhh I don't wanna.**

* * *

><p>"No – you're doing it wrong. Like this."<p>

"Oh! Ugh, I hate you! How can you do that?"

Oliver laughed at how flustered Hermione was looking, glaring at the small bowl of popcorn and all of the pieces of popcorn sitting around her, as if it were a small little army coming in for the kill. He grinned cheekily at her as she gave another huff once he'd successfully thrown a piece up in the air and caught it in his mouth.

They were, in fact, ordered to go on a honeymoon, with many complaints from the two, although once they'd been thrown into the small house by the beach with no way of Apparating or Flooing out, they'd sighed and accepted their fate. So far, they'd spent four hours on the couch in pajamas, watching Muggle movies, some animated and others not, and talked a majority of the time. Oliver had shown Hermione that he could do it, and she'd been rather miffed at how hard it was, no matter how easy he made it seem.

"Do you want me to go make more popcorn?" Oliver asked rather solemnly, making her shoot him another glare before picking up a piece of popcorn from the couch and lobbing it at him, wrinkling her nose when he caught it in his mouth and crunched it with a grin.

"Ugh, I hate you," she huffed, although she smiled a little bit as he pouted and slid down the couch to sit on the cushion next to her.

"Well, that certainly isn't a way to start out a marriage," he said, sweeping his arm back behind her and tugging her into his side by her waist, hearing her squeak and blinking down at her as she curled up a little. "Are you ticklish?"

"No," she lied, wriggling away from him a little as he grinned mischievously, "Now stay away from me."

"Hmm…nope!" he said, diving for her and making her give out a scream, laughing and curling up into his chest as he chuckled over her.

"O-Oliver, quit it! Oliver, please, stop!" she laughed, making him laugh a little harder but stop in the process.

"Oh, you're so ticklish!" he grinned down at her as she pouted up at him from laying her head on his lap as he sat on his heels. "This will come in handy in the future."

"No, it won't," she declared, frowning at him.

"Yah, it will," he grinned wider.

"No," she stated once again.

"Yes," he chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist and towing her down into the couch with him, although she squeaked and curled up a little again, making him give a small laugh as he pulled her up into his chest.

They were silent for a while, although it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, more of a thoughtful one. After a few moments, Oliver looked down to Hermione and saw that her eyes were shut and her breathing was steady. He smiled a little and flicked his wand to get rid of the bowl and the popcorn and to have a blanket settle over the both of them, wrapping both of his arms around her underneath it and shutting his eyes.

* * *

><p>"Oliver. Oliver. Jesus, Oliver, let me <em>up<em>, I'm practically dying."

"What?" he asked rather irritably, tightening his grip on her, eyes still shut.

"I'm wearing fleece pajama pants and this is a thick blanket, and you seem to be emitting enough warmth to heat a small house, so let me up to change or _something_."

"See, here's the thing," he said groggily, his accent thick as he finally opened his eyes to the blue screen emitting a blue glow over his expectant new wife. "No matter how much heat I give off, I am still cold. You are warm. If I let you up, I will be even colder. Do you see our problem?"

"Our problem is that I'm going to die of heatstroke and you'll have to remarry some awful bird that the Ministry assigns you to."

He sighed and released her, letting her fling the blanket back and hop over him as he hissed at all of his heat went away in one fluid motion. She padded into the bedroom and shut the door behind her while Oliver reached over and clicked the television off, putting an arm behind his head and shutting his eyes once again. Once he began to start to doze off, he felt a poke in his side and opened his eyes again to look dully up at her.

"Budge up," she said, dressed in different pants, hands on her hips as she looked down at him. "I brought your warmth back."

"You're so demanding," he sighed, reaching his arms up to grab her around the waist and tow her back into her original spot as she squeaked. Oliver tugged the blanket back into place, wrapping both of his arms around her once again as Hermione moved into a more comfortable position. "An' I _can't_ heat a small house."

Hermione chuckled and shut her eyes, wrapping her arms around his torso, "Of course not."

* * *

><p><strong>I probably had something planned out for this chapter, but then my life became busy and so I forgot it. Oops.<strong>


End file.
